Things can always get worse
by muffinsforsure
Summary: Carol Peletier having fled a murder scene creates a city wide panic. Detective Daryl Dixon makes it his mission to find her, the girl from high school with the big blue eyes that he'd never really forgotten. Caryl!
1. Chapter 1

_Breaking News_

" _A massacre has taken place in the urban area of Georgia, husband by the name of Ed Peletier  
was found brutally murdered inside the house, with his daughter of ten Sophia Peletier found not  
more than ten feet from his body. Her cause of death appears to be from blunt force trauma to the  
head but must be investigated more thoroughly. Wife and mother Carol Peletier is nowhere to be  
found with search teams patrolling through the area to find her.  
Sources heard loud shouting in the late hours of the night, and the sounds of a struggle, neighbour  
and friend Lori Grimes contacted her husband Rick Grimes who is in fact an officer of the law.  
We have her here to speak with us."_

" _My husband Rick responded as quickly as he could but by the time he was there it was too late,  
I just hope she's alright." She stopped to choke on a sob, "She's a very dear friend of mine and  
a fantastic mother. I just want to know what monster could do this?!"  
She dissolved into cries being led to the side by her husband Rick the reporter looked  
sympathetically towards the couple.  
"We also have lead detective Daryl Dixon here with us to share a few words."  
He ran a tired hand through his hair before growling impatiently at the reporter, "We haven't  
looked at all the evidence yet, so I'd appreciate it if everyone kept there speculation to themselves  
for the minute."  
The reporters smile grew tighter giving him a warning stare, "So you don't think Carol Peletier  
could've done this?"  
He sighed impatiently, "I've got a job to do, ain't mine to report."_

Daryl flicked of the TV with an angry flick of his wrist leaning back tiredly with his face in his hands trying not to let that fuckin reporter get to him too much. Fuckin Bitch.  
A kid was dead. He knew where she'd eventually be leading up to a mother gone crazed from years of physical abuse kills her husband, kid and maybe ducks out some place unknown to take her life. It was a story papers would eat up. That Lori Grimes was a piece of fuckin work to he could even see she took time to get glammed up before taking that interview. Her five minutes of fame and that's all they would be.  
"Lori Grimes is here to see you." Andrea his receptionist popped her head around the door looking displeased, he didn't know if it was by him or Lori. Probably both.  
"And. Ye gonna send her in or stand there looking at me?"  
She turned in a huff slamming the door behind her, his stomach was in knots he didn't need this surly attitude from stuck up assholes who thought a low life red neck couldn't be a cop.  
Lori practically fell in the door, falling into the chair her eyes dripping of tears, a tissue clenched in the fist that she held above one of her eyes.  
"Aren't you looking for her?" she accused.  
He took a calming breath which never worked so good for him, "I haven't even been to sleep alright, I have people out looking. M'heading to the crime scene again, right now. M'gonna find her." He finished standing up leaning his two hands on the table to lean forward with more conviction.  
He was going to find her, he could feel it. He needed to.  
She looked at him with a calculating look before finally responding, "Well good. But isn't it like a conflict of interest or whatever they call it."  
He looked at her dumbfounded before waiting for her to continue, "You being assigned to the case."  
Stepping back from her he gave her a tight smile, "I didn't know her all that well. We weren't even friends, you were her friend."  
"But she talked to you in school, no one talked to you." She laughed with little feeling.  
"This ain't about me. M'here cause I'm the best at finding things. Why didn't you help her sooner if you knew something was wrong?"  
She held an alarmed hand to her chest, those accusing eyes growing wider.  
"Everyone knew. She didn't want help. It's not my fault!"  
He sighed internally holding up his hand, "That'll be all Lori. I've got a job to do."  
She jumped to her feet disgusted rushing out the door like her goddam heels were on fire, he could still feel the tension lingering in the room. He'd always hated her she was a stuck up bitch in high school the exact same now, Rick wasn't too bad but he had a bit of sympathy for him cause everyone knew Shane was screwing his wife.  
He was pretty sure even Rick knew, he couldn't be that fuckin dim.  
Carol had been the only one who didn't look at him like a piece of shit they rarely talked because he was an asshole and she was surrounded by her asshole friends but he'd always liked her.  
Good lot being good did for ye, look what happened.

 _Daryl stalked into school his hands dug into his pockets, bracing himself for the jeering  
that was going to come his way, he was getting goddam tired of it.  
Shane the pack leader of dickhead society took an exaggerated step in front of him that  
wide cocky smile on that stupid head of his.  
"Well look what we have here. You know there's a no littering policy in this school, trash  
cans are over that way."  
He pointed over his shoulder, he wanted to grab that stupid finger and break it but he'd  
been getting in too much trouble lately, threatening to be kicked out twice every week.  
He looked at him with a cold hard glare, Shane rose his hands up laughing digging his  
elbow into Rick's side who just stood looking uncomfortable to the side while the loud,  
obnoxious giggled of Andrea and Lori rang through his skull.  
He couldn't fuckin hit him but he had to. "Move." He growled.  
"Make me Dixon." He leaned his forehead closer and he plotted how to break his nose.  
Just as he bounced on the balls of his feet preparing to hit him a stern familiar voice broke  
through their bubble of tension.  
Carol with her books tucked neatly to her chest, her big blue eyes which were normally bright  
and bubbly were clouded with anger. She batted Shane in the chest forcing him backwards  
he scoffed in disbelief to Lori and Andrea. "What the hell is wrong with all of you." She snapped.  
He sat like a deer caught in headlights bewildered by their little exchange as Carol told them all  
off, Shane stalked away tugging Rick with him. "He's a prick. I can't do nothing about that but  
you two should know better."  
He sighed brushing past her as he angrily stomped down that hall, he heard her frantic light  
steps behind him and felt an odd anxiousness come over him.  
"I'm sorry." She said urgently reaching out to grab his shoulder he jerked back abruptly looking  
at her like accusingly like she'd just struck him.  
"Sorry."  
"Stop saying that. It's fine. I ain't yer problem."  
"I know."  
He looked at her a while trying to figure her out some ulterior motive but she just stared back  
with her big, blue expressive eyes. "Look I can handle myself. Ye better run back to yer friends  
don't wanna be seen with a Dixon it could dirty yer reputation."  
He turned on his heels again trying as quick as he could to get away from her, she called out  
to him almost teasingly, "You could've just said thanks."  
_

Ricks sudden burst into his office made him leap off the ground he held up his hands sheepishly at him gesturing towards a cup of coffee. "Bit on edge huh Daryl?"  
"Naw. Lack of sleep is all."  
They sipped their coffees together in silence relishing in the caffeine that went coursing through their veins only way they'd make it through the day.  
"Why didn't ye help her?" he asked quietly and Rick's eyebrows shot up in surprise.  
"I…I tried. She didn't want my help. She was scared man, Ed was a real piece of work."  
The world was better off without him that was for sure, he didn't know he'd gotten his hooks in Carol but right out of school he'd reeled her in and wouldn't let go for nothing.  
"He was an asshole. Better off dead. I always knew he was more than just an ass."  
Rick nodded silently in agreement nodding sombrely before breaking out into a light chuckle "You kicked his ass in high school if I remember correctly…?"  
He chuckled alongside him, "Yeah making me feel a whole lot better now."  
"Good thing they let you work this case."  
"Let me." He growled his eyes snapping up to his, "Why wouldn't they?"  
His eyes were searching for an answer he was looking at him like a startled rabbit before he shot an arrow from his crossbow straight through it. "What is with everyone?! I didn't fucking know Carol, I talked to her a handful of times. Ain't something to go harping on about."  
Rick held back a smile good thing to. "You didn't talk to anyone so everyone just assumed you were close, my mistake."  
"Didn't talk to anyone cause you's were a bunch of assholes."  
"Rick old boy we heading out!" hollered Shane.  
Daryl drew a sharp breath in anger, "Speaking of assholes."

"Dixon." He smirked blocking the way with his two arms on either side of the door, he'd consider man slaughter if it meant not having to see him.  
"Ye still here. Thought you'd be scoping out the crime scene in your new shoes." He of course couldn't not be a prick and held up pretend telescope.  
"These ain't new."  
Shane looked to Rick as he always did for some back up but they weren't kids anymore Rick just looked at him with disapproval. "Go do your job there's a woman missing and a kid dead ain't time for your shit."  
Shane recoiled backwards being led away by Rick, who nodded at him as he left and he could tell by the way Rick was eyeing him up he wasn't getting ready for one of his infamous speeches.  
Nothing would get through Shane's thick skull though. He's fighting a losing battle.

His eyes were probably sunken into the back of his head, tiredness clawing at him waiting for him to give in but he was used to not sleeping. Sleepless nights weren't a new thing.  
Pulling off his jacket, rolling it into a ball he chucked it into the back with as much anger he could muster with an object. He hated dressing up like a goddam penguin.  
He yanked his tie off while he was at it as he reached the steps of the house ducking under the yellow tape he took a long, staggered breath before entering the home of Carol Peletier.  
The hall which led to the door was left undisturbed, it would look to anybody like any other plastic urban house with those gushed up people living inside.  
It was a nice place, plenty big. He could've fit two of the house he grew up in it, screw that probably three. Sure improves his point that assholes get what they want.  
The living room was where it had actually made his stomach churn. Rick had turned to him with tears in his eyes holding back an angry cry. "I got this." He told him letting him take a breath outside probably feeling the guilt of not being there sooner lie heavy on his shoulders.  
Ed had been turned over his back with a hole the size of a golf ball in the back of it, when they turned him over his tongue was lolling out and Ed was an ugly man but that sure beat his earlier photos anyways. He found it hard to look at her just lying there.  
She actually looked peaceful, like nothing had ever happened.  
The edge of the coffee table glared conspicuously at him, he just knew it was the culprit, someone must've pushed her on to it. By someone he meant that stupid piece of shit Ed.  
With trembling finger tips he reached out remembering the cold feel of Sophia, there was nothing like it, it shook ye inside so much ye could hardly move and that was just him.  
Carol. She'd be in pieces. She must've moved somewhere.

Where the fuck did you go Carol. The little droplets of blood led out the back yard which tumbled into a stretch of woods that went on for miles, she'd been gone a whole day.  
He could tell no one thought they'd find her, just out of sheer courtesy they looked, no one suspected Carol of killing her husband. She was too gentle, too sweet but he knew she did. Everyone had a breaking point especially if she'd been hit for so long by that bastard and killing someone's kid well that'll break ye. He just wished he hada been here to do it for her.  
Running back to grab his crossbow he quietly stalked through the woods eyes peering out expectantly for something, anything. If not he could at least hunt something while he was out here, it always seemed to relax him some. Droplets of old rain fell from the leaves, he looked up at them accusingly before moving forward again. "Carol!" he called tiredly feeling it start to seep into his bones he fell back against one of the trees.  
Taking a heavy, tired breath he let his eyes drift close the forest being what he needed to lull him into some sort of nap. Ever since he'd got lost in it before it felt like a second home.  
 _He rushed through the door excitedly and stupidly so he'd fuckin passed all that stupid  
time he spent in that school he went to light a match to once had been for fuckin something.  
"Merle." He roared his voice husky from tiredness.  
His house wasn't exactly big. Where the fuck was he? This shouldn't be the fuckin DiVinci code  
he tiredly ran his hands along the wall as he searched.  
He halted. "No." his voice barely a whisper.  
"No." he repeated louder rushing to his side but the amount of pill bottles scattered around him  
was like an evil taunt that he wouldn't fuckin take.  
He searched for his pulse with false hope his own hands shaking, he jerked back frantically barely  
registering his back hit the counter as the jolt of cold that was in Merle raced through his skin.  
No. Not Merle. He wouldn't. Head in his hands his mind pushed back calling him an idiot, saying  
he was dead wasn't he clearly he would. In a daze he got up looking for some sort of note or  
something isn't that what people did. Leave notes. Nothing. He came up blank.  
"Always fuckin talking and the one time I need you to say something." His voice was raw, he  
didn't realise he was crying till a drop hit his hand and he angrily swiped it away.  
He was the last fuckin Dixon left standing. Merle sure was right nothing can kill a Dixon but  
a Dixon they sure were a fan of taking things into their own hands.  
"Shit Merle." He cursed at him slumping beside him trying to fumble to a phone.  
_He jerked awake eyes wide, shit he really had fallen asleep out here. Some things never changed.  
Making his weary body work with him, he walked blindly onwards not even thinking he might need some water or anything to bring with him. Just knowing he had to keep looking for her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry if there is a few spelling mistakes. Very tired. But needed some Caryl!**

* * *

He felt like a zombie staggering through the endless maze of forest that stretched onwards for miles, a heavy sheen of sweat was sticking to his skin as held out an outstretched hand to push a branch out of his way. Ducking underneath he caught a glimpse of an old worn down house, mostly made of wood, the door barely hanging on his frame looked like the start of a fuckin horror movie.  
Good thing he knew the woods. He hunched down his eyes straining at the dusk that was starting to set in around the forest. Shit. He'd been out here longer than he thought.  
A dim flickering light caught his attention. Inhaling sharply he padded as quietly as he could towards the house his hands bracing themselves against it.  
He felt his heart accelerate in anticipation as he peered through the grimy window, expecting to see her there shook up and him to be able to think of some way to fuckin help her.  
He was also preparing for the fact he might find her dead. But he didn't think so it ain't the way Carol goes out, she always had a sort of silent strength to her that kept surprising everybody.  
The room was empty. Not a shred of furniture anywhere, his house was bad but it wasn't on this standard. Groaning in frustration he abruptly stood up pushing quickly through the door calling out sharply, "Carol. Carol." The silence enveloped him, "Fuck." He hissed kicking out and hitting the walls which groaned in pain.  
Pulling out his walkie talkie, he snapped "Rick. Rick. Ye there?"  
A couple of drawn out minutes later when his heart was sinking in his chest he breathed a sigh of relief hearing Rick's voice. "Where are you? Thought you were at Carol's house but we checked and you weren't there, thought something might've happened." His voice was grim.  
"Naw ye owe me twenty bucks told you no one wants a Dixon." He heard Shane chuckle to himself as he left the channel open.  
He would've snarled at him but his heart was heavy. He thought he had found her here. "In the forest, found a little shack here thought she might be holed up in but….nothing. Fuckin nothing."  
An agreeable silence hung around them. "You want us to come out and meet you."  
"Naw m'go….."  
He was sent hurtling backwards landing flat on his back, his hands instinctively going to his arm trying to catch a few frantic short breaths before getting his shit together.  
He pulled his hand back the staining blood proof enough he'd been shot.

 _He always noticed Carol but he couldn't help but find his eyes flicking to her more  
often than normal after she'd tried to help with Shane and those other pricks.  
She's always catch him to, smile shyly but also keenly silently asking him what he  
wanted but he'd abruptly turn away from her in an angry huff, like she'd done something  
wrong. He couldn't explain to her what he wanted he didn't fuckin know.  
Thing is when you become more of a silent observer or someone filled with silent judgement  
and disgusted you catch the other people who are watching too.  
Ed always was. He was like a dirty rat after rolling around in his own disease and wanting to  
spread it everywhere. His eyes would run dirtily up and down her when she thought no one  
was looking until one day he caught Ed poking her in the back of the head with a pencil.  
"Carol." He'd hiss a chuckle hidden in it. "Carol."  
"What?" she held a warning in her tone telling him to be quiet.  
"Ye wanna go out with me?"  
"What!" she exclaimed in mock horror causing the teacher to spin round and give her  
a sharp look, "Sorry."  
"You can't just ask someone like that."  
"Why not? You're beautiful and I like you. It should be that simple."  
He didn't realise he was chuckling till Ed spun around to him a cold hatred like nothing  
he'd ever seen in Shane's eyes. "Something funny?"  
"If there was I wouldn't be fuckin tellin you." He snapped noticing the way Carol's eyes  
flicked concerned towards him he ducked his eyes from hers.  
"Shouldn't you be rotting in jail like your dead beat brother instead of pretending like  
you can actually read or write."  
"Ed!" shouted Carol with cold fury in her eyes and he found himself smiling.  
"Carol. Don't raise your voice in class."  
Ed being a sneaky little bastard realised his mistake. He wouldn't be getting anywhere  
with Carol like that. He gave him a slimy smile before raising his hand, "Miss..?"  
"Yes." She said already tired with him.  
"That was my fault I said something I probably shouldn't have to Daryl. My mistake."  
Her eyes dropped out of her head as did Carol's he respected how much their teacher  
knew what an actual asshole Ed was but she was never much better to him either.  
"Oh. Well I hope you apologised."  
"I did."  
"Daryl? Did he?"  
He scoffed at the little exchange in disbelief getting to his feet, pushing the table away  
from him before stomping to the door ignoring the protests.  
"M'taking a piss. M'dying."  
_

When he went to stand up he realised he was surrounded by men all clutching guns like hired assassins and he half groaned and laughed. Please don't tell me this has got to do with Carol he thought dimly looking up into the faces of the guns that were staring down at him.  
Getting to his feet he handed his crossbow over against every fibre in his being it was practically glued to his hand, he never wanted to sock someone so much in the face than he did right now.  
"You're kidding me right?"  
They laughed coldly before one stocky man who smelt of expensive yet cheap sort of fucking perfume or some shit stepped towards him. Can't believe men wear that shit. He chuckled to himself, soon his intrusive greedy hands that were dripping of sickening sweat patted him down.  
Pulling his gun and his knife out in triumph along with his badge passing it to a cocky tower of a man who grinned wider when he saw who the fuck he was.  
"Detective Daryl Dixon. Wooooooo…..Big gun we have here guys." He sang.  
He stared them down refusing to give them anything, shoulders squared against them.  
His other men sniggered as he arched a challenging eyebrow at him. "You're looking for Carol right? That woman who murdered her whole family..?"  
"You have her?" a growl ripped from his throat before he could stop it.  
They laughed a belly aching one and he in a blind rage took a sudden step forward throwing a heavy punch to the guy in charge, he was immediately tackled being held back by a tangle of arms.  
He wiped a slow blood infested hand away from his mouth. With slow thudding footsteps he walked towards him grabbing his chin roughly. He tried to duck his head backwards but his grip was like something of a titan. "You know. You seem awful concerned?" he just kept looking at him with those eyes that border lined on insanity, "Doesn't he boys?"  
"Sure does boss."  
"Because I like you. M'gonna decide what to do with you later put him in the back. Should be an interesting journey for you. Oh Daryl." He said like an old friend patting his shoulder while his men pounced on him eventually knocking him into unconsciousness.  
Well he'd really done it this time he thought to himself.

 _"What ye gone and done this time huh Derylna?" Merle taunted at his unconscious body  
That's how he realised he was fuckin losing the plot.  
Merle wasn't here. Never fuckin was. "Huh cat got your tongue?"  
"I wish." He muttered darkly trying to shrug his prying hand from his shoulder.  
"He speaks. Would ye look at that. Missed me." He gave him a big toothy smile.  
Swallowing the truth back he snapped back, "Of course not. Who'd miss you."  
"Ye in a bit of a bind here Deryl?"  
He thought back to the gang of men he'd have to get away from, the guns he'd have to  
avoid, the shot he'd actually taken and the woman he'd actually still not found and he groaned  
was he actually considering getting advice from Merle…?  
Were things that bad? Couldn't they have just taken Shane and given him Carol back.  
"Had worse. Ain't nothing I can't handle."  
"You keep telling yourself that nice if somebody believes it."_ _  
"Fuck you."  
"Have to go Deryl try not to make an ass of everything. Ain't easy."  
"Merle." He said into the darkness not really recognising the sound of his own voice he  
sounded shook up, he wasn't, he ain't. "Merle." He rasped.  
It was a dream ye moran.  
_

He felt groggy when he opened his eyes, not knowing whether he was actually awake or not cause he was still sitting in the darkness in what could be a cage. It rattled from side to side as he was moved to whatever shithole these men lived in. "Daryl." A familiar voice reached out touching his shoulder ever so slightly. Can't be. Still fuckin dreaming.  
"Daryl."  
"What." He snapped impatiently.  
"Still as charming as ever." There was that old fondness in her voice that he couldn't understand but her voice was much weaker she sounded so much older when life shits on ye, it can get like that.  
"It's Carol."  
He laughed weakly pushing himself up so his back was pressed up against something solid, noticing they patched up his arm. Which was just an odd thing to be doing.  
"I gotta be dreaming."  
"If these are your dreams Daryl I'd hate to see what your nightmares would be like."  
"Ye would." He said sharply before he could stop it and it finally landed on his chest Carol was here, she was alive, he actually found her.  
"Carol." He breathed.  
"I think we've established my name." he could hear the smile in her voice.  
"I found ye." He didn't know what he was doing reaching out uselessly until his hand landed on what he hoped was her shoulder, just making sure. "Evidence."  
She broke out a sort of cry laugh he didn't know what to do with that.  
Knowing it was a stupid question, he still had to ask it. "Ye okay?"  
It was quiet for a long time she was having a silent battle with herself and he wished he could fuckin see her face she was a fuzzy silhouette. Her breaths grew laboured and he wished maybe he was better at saying stuff cause it might make her feel better. Once he found people he never knew what to do with them. "Carol. I ain't sure what to do here." He spoke quietly biting down on his lip.  
Her sob was a guttural broken thing, she choked on it and he felt himself choking too, he didn't know why he cared so dam much. But seeing her like this or hearing her was rattling him.  
"Can I just…." She reached for him her dainty hands finding his face, one hand reaching out and touching his chest he heard her shift closer towards him.  
Suddenly she was burying her head in in his chest sobbing much easier than she had before while he sat stiff as a board. "Daryl just put your arms around me. It's okay."  
Unsure arms wrapped around her body, when he did he found it actually felt natural he'd never hugged someone before but he was pretty sure this is what it was meant to feel like. Safe.  
Even though they were actually screwed. It felt safe. "Gonna get us out of here." Determination blazing in his eyes.  
He felt her nodding her head slowly tucking her head in closer to his chest and he was tryin to not to breathe too heavily or much but then he was breathing louder.  
The heavy fall of his chest making her rise up and down harsher, she chuckled weakly through her tears her head tilting upwards to him. "Breathe Daryl. I thought you might've changed since school but you haven't. Thank god someone hasn't." she whispered quietly.  
He let her say nothing if she wanted to she would.  
"I killed him. Daryl. I killed him." She said finally and she shook into tears.  
"Ye had to Carol." She balled up some of his shirt in her hand pulling it tighter to her. "I saw what he did."  
He didn't know what he did but she cried harder so he held her closer.  
He found her. Not all of her. Bits of her were strewn all across the place but he had her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this took so long but determined to finish this one...anyways enjoy**

* * *

Eventually Carol's head rose up away from his chest her hand sheepishly wiping the dry, sticky tears from her face and she sat upright from him. He shifted uncomfortably not knowing what to do with himself now she was gone. "I'm sorry."  
"Ain't gotta apologise."  
They sat in silence for a while letting the rocking of the vehicle nearly close his tired eyes, "Daryl?"  
"Mhmm." He opened them abruptly jolting awake.  
"Are you wearing a suit?"  
He looked down stupidly and half embarrassed yeah he was dressed up like a goddam penguin, it was only for his goddam job. "It felt like a suit." She explained.  
"Yeah well I'm a detective ain't I?"  
"I'm sure you look great, just never thought I'd see the day." A hint of a smile in her voice.  
"Yeah you and everybody else." He grumbled closing in more on himself.  
She said nothing but even in the darkness he could feel her eyes studying him, he really wished he could fuckin see her. "I'm sorry Daryl. That no one helped." He felt his heart drop down his throat swallowing a heavy breath, "Everyone knew and no one helped."  
"Don't need no one's help." He snapped.

 _Daryl walked on, even though every step was making it harder to breathe. He must've  
broken a rib or something, every breath he took was haggard and made his whole body  
tremble. Feeling the tears try to capture his eyes but he wouldn't let them he was fine,  
his back burned as did everything else but he was fine.  
There was dried blood still soaked into his back, his lip was swollen and his black eye wouldn't  
fool nobody you'd have to be damned blind to miss it but no one would see.  
He could fuckin float into school on a magic carpet with a crown on his head and no one  
take a second look at him and he was glad cause he hated the attention.  
His first teacher who saw him they sort of stumbled backwards her eyes darting anxiously  
over his face before they refused to look at him. Her cheeks flaring red in embarrassment  
she cleared her throat eyes frantically sweeping over the words on the page.  
"It's fine Daryl. Never mind, I'm sure you'll have the work in another day." She thrust it back at him  
pity hanging in her eyes taunting him.  
She didn't look up to see if he walked away she just fell back into her chair and dove her nose  
back in a book, he couldn't help himself he normally bit back the words. "Must be a good book."  
She recoiled her eyebrows shooting up her narrow face, smiling nervously back at him as  
turned on his heels as quick as he could to storm out the door.  
His movements much more restricted and stiff, he dropped his ratty bag on the ground in  
his haste to get away. "Shit."  
Bending down ain't gonna be fun. Forgetfully biting his lip he hissed in pain before preparing  
himself for the agony that was soon to follow.  
"I'll get that." Her voice cut across his gloomy day and he stared wordlessly as she bent  
down and picked it up for him.  
She held no pitying stare like the rest of those assholes or else she was just a great actress.  
"Thanks." He grumbled trying to run away from her yet again.  
"In a rush?" she asked keeping up with his brisk pace.  
He looked at her quizzically before replying, "Naw I was just trying to get away from you."  
If she was hurt by his comment she didn't seem it. She simply pursed her lips at him with a  
hint of a smile that made him stop walking. "What?" he asked abruptly.  
"Just don't know why your afraid of me?"  
"I ain't afraid." He snapped walking on once again his shoulders swinging angrily by his side.  
"Okay."  
"Look you don't have to keep an eye on me or whatever the hell it is you think your  
doing. I can take care of myself."  
"So you keep saying." She touched his shoulder ever so slightly and he felt his body pause  
just as they reached the doors for the way out.  
He turned hesitantly towards her unable to hide the bewilderment he was feeling. He just  
didn't get this girl. Merle always said women were fucked up.  
Her hand outstretched found the gash of a cut that struck down the side of his lip still  
feeling the sting of the open, angry punch he got. Her big blue eyes examined it before they  
flicked towards his gauging his reaction. His breath was caught in his throat.  
He didn't know what to do. Normally he'd shake her off and tell her to back the hell off  
but he found he almost didn't want to and he didn't know why the hell not.  
"I'm sorry that no one helps you." She said in almost a whisper finally drawing her hand back.  
"I don't need help. Maybe you should just mind your own dam business!" he took an angry  
step backwards darting away from her.  
"You don't deserve it." Was all she said in return.  
"You don't know shit about me. How the hell would ye know."  
"I just do."  
He couldn't take no more of her cross examining bullshit so he fled._

"Why didn't ye leave Carol?" he found himself asking.  
She stammered for a second clearly surprised by his prying. "I tried but…"  
"Ye coulda just took your kid and ran. I would've helped if ye asked."  
She laughed a breath, "But we weren't that close. Why would you have helped me?"  
"Cause ye tried to help me."  
She was crying again he could pretend not to hear it but he couldn't. She needed him, he found her hand and pulled her towards him again. Sinking her tired head down to his chest, sniffling she said "Why is it easier to talk like this?"  
"When it _'_ s dark it's easier. Ye can't see anything so somehow it makes it okay."  
"I suppose."  
The truck lurched to a stop, she sprang away from him and he fought the urge to pull her back against him. The doors slammed in unison as the army of footsteps stomped their way to the doors when they heard their hands grasp the handle her hand sprang to his.  
She squeezed it in a panic. "Ain't gonna let anything happen to ye."  
They were pulled like dead weight from the back they didn't hesitate as they scooped up their thrashing bodies dragging them into a building with heavy rusted metal doors.  
He was pretty sure he socked a couple of them in the mouth and he couldn't of been happier for it.  
When they were thrown on the concrete cold ground, he looked up at their busted lips they were wiping blood from with cold anger in their eyes. Two of them advanced on him one holding him down why the other kicked him in the stomach. Making him curl over on himself with every blow but he refused of giving them the satisfaction of even a groan.  
Little did they know that he had much worse. "Stop it!" she shouted her voice raw.

"Listen to the little lady. She said stop." A deep taunting voice was like a bolt of lightning silencing the room.  
The men stepped back like drones kneeling down without fear just plain respect and it was enough to make him fucking puke. He had a pansy ass red scarf stuck into his jacket and a cocky prick of a smile as he ran his eyes over them. He rose his eyebrows disgustingly as he checked out Carol looking excited almost. He found himself raising taller leaning in her direction.  
"Now what do we have here?"  
The man who was first to get back to his feet anxiously answered trying to gain some brownie points it looked like. "We picked her up in the woods. We know you've been growing bored with some of the others, thought you might like something interesting."  
He smiled appreciatively leaning down to look into Carol eyes which she was directing away from him and he hate to say he felt panicked. "Woo wee look at her. She sure is something. Nice work fellas. No problem with the delivery then I take it."  
"No sir."  
One conniving finger reached out to run along her cheek. She whimpered drawing back looking at him coldly. "Leave her alone." He rasped and he finally remembered he was still there.  
He dropped his head looking away from him and sighing deeply. "Who is he?"  
They stammered at his disapproval. "I don't remember saying I was interested in marrying men now did I?"  
"No Negan sir. It's just he was a detective looking for her, she killed her family we think and…"  
He boomed a laugh looking towards Carol with admiration, "This little thing. Well aren't you something." he went to put his two rough hands on her shoulders but she shuffled away.  
"Don't you dare touch me!"  
His breath was running short he needed to get her out of here. "Feisty. I sure do like that." He smiled broadly his own snarling getting his attention.  
He pretended to look saddened as he reached across picking up a bat with barbed wire wrapped around it and he could only guess what he was going to do with that.  
"Now I can only do one thing with you. Detective…."  
"Daryl Dixon." Someone supplied.  
"Detective Daryl Dixon. God that does sound scary. Doesn't it boys?"  
"Sure does sir."  
He shook with a smile on his face, "Under other circumstances I'd be shaking in my boots. You have to tell me how a back water hick like yourself became a detective."  
"Ain't none of your dam business." He growled.  
"Well then I'm afraid Lucille has no choice." He raised his bat holding it like precious cargo, he couldn't go out like this he needed to get Carol out of here. He had to.  
"Wait. Please." Carol begged anxious tears running down her face.  
"Carol." He warned but Negan was intrigued.  
"You know this man?" he gestured between them.  
"Yes. Please don't kill him."  
"Carol." He repeated.  
"And here I was thinking he was just the man investigating you. God how shallow of me. So sorry Carol for not seeing the bigger picture."  
He paused between them clearly thinking. "You know what Daryl I can't have men not worth their salt fighting for me. So if you kill one of my men I might consider sparing your life."  
Carol spun her head to look at him pure panic on her face. "I ain't a killer."  
"No but you would do it to save poor Carol now wouldn't you?" he gestured to one of his men and they pulled her two her feet holding a knife dangerously close to her throat.  
"Ain't see the point of this. I ain't gonna help ye do whatever the hell it is you do here."  
"Let's just say I get a bit bored. And woooo this going to be exciting!" he exclaimed grabbing the biggest and most daunting of his men thrusting a knife in both their hands.  
He looked to Carol one last time before he turned towards him and one look was enough to know he was going to tear this son of a bitch apart.

 _He was sitting down by the river lost in the tall grass that surrounded him shortly after  
Merle died trying figure out if he could do this all alone. He barely heard her but weirdly  
enough he wasn't surprised she found him. She looked at him for permission to sit down her  
face grave and he found himself nodding along. Not knowing he needed her there.  
"What ye doing here?" he asked his voice low in his throat.  
"Came looking for you. I heard."  
He picked the pieces of grass around him destroying them in the hold of his hand he didn't  
want to look at her. Afraid of what he might find there  
"I'm sorry." She said quietly and it was dam earnest.  
He didn't know why she cared so much. "He was a junkie. His own dam fault. Just another  
waste of space. Ask anyone that's what they'll tell ye."  
"I'm not asking anyone I'm asking you. He was your brother. You loved him."  
"So. Is that meant to make me feel better. Cause I got say it kinda sucks." He snapped his eyes  
distraught and trying not to fill with tears.  
She found his hand that was balled up on the muddy ground and rested hers on top like a  
barrier and squeezed it reassuringly. "I'm just here to see if your okay?"  
"Why?"  
"Because I wanted to."  
He didn't have any fancy comeback for that so he just stopped fighting. "I don't know if I can  
do this alone." He admitted quietly.  
"Sounds like you've always been doing it alone. Your dad was a dick, Merle was always in  
prison or not really there. You already were. You'll be fine."  
He nodded, she was right how she knew so much about him stumped him but whatever.  
"Here you are all graduated and heading to college." She smiled brightly.  
"Yeah turns out Merle hid some cash away for me. Go figure."  
"He must've loved you. Any ideas what you're going to do?"  
He really fucking didn't he wasn't that good at much. "Naw been tryna think keep coming up  
blank. I' m screwed."  
She looked thoughtful before she turned to him all excited. "Well you hunt right? So you can  
track then?"  
He couldn't help his dumbfounded expression. "How do ye know I hunt?"  
"Saw you one time I was going for a walk in the woods. Holding a pretty big crossbow stalking  
through the woods almost like cat woman." She laughed cutely.  
"I ain't no woman." He snapped unimpressed.  
"Okay Cat Man whatever. Unless you don't hunt in which case you actually are a murderer and  
I should really rethink my sense of judgement." She teased turning her nose up at him.  
"Relax I ain't a murderer."  
"Well if your good at finding things. Maybe you should try be a cop or even better a detective."  
He couldn't hide his smile at her excitement for him. Her eyes widening, lips curling up in  
this carefree smile, it made things seem better for a bit.  
"Me a detective. People don't like much and I ain't too fond of them."  
"So your good at finding things. And your observant and you are good at reading people, that  
is all you need." She smiled.  
"How ye think that?"  
"Well cause you let me talk to you. Which I consider very good judgement" she looked cockily  
at him.  
"Is that so?"  
"Mhmm." She laughed, "Just have to promise when you're a big shot detective and your  
investigating something here probably Shane. You'll thank me."  
He didn't know why the hell he'd caught her attention but he was pretty glad he did, she  
outstretched her hand for him to shake. Warily he took it feeling the warmth of her hand in  
his stirred something in him. He found himself blushing as he shook it and oddly enough  
her cheeks looked a little red too.  
He felt instant regret as he watched her get to her feet. "Well I'll see you around Daryl.  
Take care of yourself."  
"Wait." He stopped her urgently.  
She waited for him to continue. "What about you?"  
"I wanna say I'll have this big exciting life. But I'll probably just be right here, unfortunately  
I'm not that special. But you'll know where to find me."  
He nodded sadly and she retreated. He wanted to tell her she was, she was the only  
person he'd ever really noticed but she looked like something of a story as her silhouette  
disappeared in the night sky. Only thing proving she was real was the shuffling of the grass.  
_


	4. Chapter 4

**Fangirl8494 thank you for your comments it was lovely thanks very much... Enjoy :)**

* * *

The knife felt much heavier in his hand than it actually was. He didn't know what kind of burden was thrust on your shoulders after killing a man but he sure was about to find out.  
Carol had to deal with the weight of it so he could do the same, who knows maybe doing this will make it easier for her to get through. The man was covered with ink, piercing falling out of every inch of his head, he was fucking three times the weight of him.  
He looked cockily over to his friends and he knew he thought he had this. He knew why Negan picked him but he'd faced scarier men before. He leaned by on his left leg bracing himself in a crouch ready to pounce at his charging figure with one of those cruel toothy grins.  
He wouldn't be doing that once he knocked his teeth out. He dove the knife straight at him with little thought, stupid move. He hit the side of his wrist knocking the assuming knife out of his grip and his mouth opened in a gasp. Swinging his knife he only managed to slice a piece of his wrist as he dodged his blow. He hissed his eyes narrowing angrily at him and he got ready for the next blow.  
Grabbing him with his two stocky arms he hurled him in a rage, his head knocking off the back wall, his knife accidently cutting his other hand a bit. Feeling the slow, warm blood trickle down the side of his hand he groggily got up. Locking eyes with Carol who was anxiously fighting against the hold of two guys much bigger than her, she had some balls.  
He nodded at her reassuringly, of course the other guy took that as him being distracted but he could multi task like a son of a bitch. He ducked his heavy, slow swing digging the knife with all his strength into his gut, he coughed on it, choking.  
His face was completely startled as he realised his time was up. He looked at him his eyes panicked looking actually innocent, childlike as all masks were pulled away when death neared.  
He wished he hadn't looked. He could feel the guilt start to nibble at him and he knew it would soon turn into a rabid dog savaging his insides. The man swayed stupidly he didn't move and the body came crashing down on him. Crushing his lungs his own panicked hands pushed with everything he had to shove him off, legs kicking out. "Hey, hey get him off." He ordered.  
Minutes later he was found gasping for clean air, feeling the blood that clung to every inch of his skin, he wouldn't try wipe it away in front of them though.  
The men stared with unfathomable hatred in their eyes pleading with Negan silently and he took one last look at Carol, she didn't look disgusted with him. Just relieved.

"Right you can finish him." He smiled waving to his men who flocked to his side instantly.  
"Ye said ye wouldn't kill me." He barked. "I won fair and square. This is bullshit!"  
He slowly grinned at him covering it with one hand, trying real hard not to laugh at his outburst and he never wanted more to beat the living hell out of someone so much.  
"I said might. And I really liked that guy. Dam. Didn't expect ye'd win. Well shit." His eyes fell dead, "Kill him."  
"No. No please, you can't." she screeched elbowing the men holding her in the face they let go in shock hands flailing for thin air as she took a fearless step in front of Negan.  
He didn't said nothing just smiled as they waited for the verdict. "Hold on."  
The men groaned displeased letting go of his aching body, "I'll do whatever you want. Just let him live." She looked up at him stubbornly her eyes never faltering.  
"Well little lady. I never force myself on a woman." He tried to hold back his dry laugh at that but Negan spun his eyes round quickly glare at him, "Would never marry one unless they want to, that's my one rule."  
Carol nodded wordlessly and not much people would've seen the quick flash of fear that crossed her face before he saw her change right before his eyes.  
Her eyes welled up in tears, she hung her head back looking at the ceiling for a second to not let the tears fall before croaking, "I had a daughter." She started and Negan looked plenty intrigued at this, "My husband. He…he killed her. And I just lost it. I couldn't stop I had to kill him." She held his stare her blue eyes filled with ancient sorrow. "He used to beat me before and…" she wiped the tears that had started to flood her face quickly away.  
Negan the bastard looking almost concerned reached out stopping her hands his own reaching out to brush them off her face, lingering much too long. "Hey. Hey. You wanna cry, cry. I ain't gonna stop, nothing to be ashamed of." He said gently.  
She nodded letting the tears fall, "My husband never treated me right. I ain't ever been treated right and that's all I ever wanted."  
Negan cupped her cheeks in his hands like it was the Holy Grail and he took a dazed step towards them to baffled to react to the scene before him. "I would never hurt a woman. Never in my life have I. Have I men?"  
"No sir." They chorused.  
"I'd treat ye right a strong woman like you. Deserves to be treated like a queen."  
"I just want to be treated right."  
"I'd treat ye right."  
"And my friend?" she asked innocently.  
He paused looking at him only briefly, "I won't kill him. None of my men will either."  
"Would I get to see him? He is my friend."  
He slackened his hold on her face a bit thinking, "Once a week. How's that sound?"  
"Good." She smiled, "Thank you. Then I'd very much like to be your wife." She smiled through tears and the scary thing was they looked genuine, he didn't know how she was doing this.  
He felt like he couldn't see her but she was doing it for him.  
Negan examined her every reaction he could see that but she was dam fooling them and he grinned widely at her statement. "Well then gotta do this proper then don't I. Daryl to think you're here to witness something beautiful." He bragged falling down to one knee and he almost gagged.  
"Carol….God I don't know your second name. How embarrassing." He hit his head with one hand dramatically and she laughed quickly.  
"Peletier."  
"God quickly moving on. Carol Peletier would you do the honour of becoming one of my wives?" he pretended to wait anxiously for her reply.  
She nodded before beaming a, "yes." But it was just tentative enough to seem believable.  
He couldn't of prepared himself for watching it when he bounded to his feet eagerly taking her face in his angry hand and without hesitation capturing her lips roughly.  
He saw her hesitate for a second her eyes fluttering opening in a shock, she quickly disguised the disgust that only someone as observant as him would see before nervously kissed him back.  
He took an eager step in closer to her, letting his groin purposely rest against her suggestively while she was stuck in the same stop just kissing.  
He broke away laughing, "Sorry getting a bit excited over here. We have company." He smiled pretending to be bashful.  
"Daryl you don't know what your missing she's a foxy one. How come you ain't ever tried your way with her just downright inhuman if you ask me." He possessively placed his hand on her side tucking her into his side and he felt his blood pressure rise.  
Carol looked at him sternly, "Can I say goodbye real quick?" she asked batting her eyelashes at him.  
"Of course sweetheart."  
She tiptoed quickly towards him looking cutely back over her shoulder at him, she leaned down barely brushing his lip against his cheek.  
She whispered in his ear, "I need you to get us out of this, please. Whatever I say, I don't want this."  
He took a relieving breath, "See you soon." She called loudly running eagerly back to Negan and he felt the air finally get knocked out of him as she left leaving him with the surrounding men, who grabbed his lifeless body and thrust him into a dark room. He could think clearer in here, he had to get Carol out. He would.

 _Daryl was dreading the return to town the place like a snare he'd only just managed to avoid  
but he hated to admit that he was looking forward to seeing Carol.  
He didn't even bother taking a look around his house there wasn't anything there for him to  
see so he'd just dropped his bag and left.  
He didn't know where exactly he might bump into her but he was found himself walking a little  
faster through town avoiding the stares and the gossiping whispers.  
"Is that Dixon?" followed by, "What's he doing back here?"  
Maybe I've lived here whole fucking life you halfwits, don't know why it's such a fucking shocker  
but he stopped himself from barking at them cause he was looking for her.  
For once he was fucking lucky. He banged right into her and she looked at him flushed her hands  
scarping downwards, gathering up her things in a rush. "I'm so sorry." She sounded panicked.  
"Carol. It ain't a big deal." He couldn't help the smile that crept up on him.  
"Daryl." She uttered finally looking up at him and she finally had that easy smile he loved back.  
"Omg I can't believe your back." She uttered one hand on her face, "Your all grown up."  
She looked him up and down, he shifted around nervously at the attention. She smiled at his  
discomfort still shock in her eyes. "Well you ain't no kid either."  
"No I'm not." She looked down at herself sadly.  
"Not in a bad way."  
"Thank you." She said suggestively and he blushed looking away from her, "You a big detective  
yet?"  
"Naw. Getting there. If I was I'd be thanking you."  
"You remembered." She whispered in awe and he noticed the ring glaring at him.  
He sucked on a staggering breath feeling his chest go hollow and he didn't know what the  
fuck was wrong with him. "Your married." He said gruffly.  
She looked at her ring quickly hiding it with her other hand wasn't much use now.  
"Yeah." She looked half embarrassed he didn't get why, "Ed."  
Now he fucking got it. "Ed!" he exclaimed with disgust.  
"Yeah." She turned away from him making herself smaller, "Told you I'm nothing special but I  
am pregnant."  
She gave him a genuine smile and he was happy for it, "Well, congratulations."  
"Thanks."  
They stood staring each other down faltering under their gaze. "Whatcha doing!" he snapped.  
He was faced with a hateful looking Ed and he glared at him. She froze at the sound of his voice  
looking to him for help it looked like. "Who's this?"  
"Daryl."  
"Who?" he asked shortly.  
"Daryl Dixon from school."  
"Merle's little bruder. Ah your still kicking you's the one that didn't have any friends in school."  
"Ed!" she exclaimed in horror.  
"Never much liked socialising with lowlifes." He grumbled threateningly.  
"I was his friend." She protested.  
"You're his friend." He grabbed her wrist his fingers clenching around her tiny wrist.  
"Feeling sorry for him doesn't count."  
"No I'm not his friend but I'm not going to be rude." She said sheepishly avoiding looking at him._

 _He knew something was wrong here but couldn't help but feel the sting of rejection just  
never thought she'd be the one to shove him aside.  
"Let's go." He ordered grabbing their things and charging forward.  
"Daryl." She said desperately as he turned away from her.  
"Whatever. I don't give a shit." He spat coldly.  
He wasn't coming back ever again. Now he defiantly had nothing to come back for.  
_


	5. Chapter 5

**Added in a cutie little flashback to make up for the last one being a slap in the face, enjoy and please review they're fantastic :)**

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He was left there for what he assumed was a day, his stomach was screaming at him but he was used to having an empty void inside him. He'd get over it quick.  
The flash of bright light glared at him causing him to lean back, blinking away the light, he groaned at the figures in front of him. "What the fuck?!"  
"Time for you to get to work." All there grabby hands reached out tugging at his two arms, he knew it was no use but he had to keep fighting as they led him out of the room.  
As he kicked out he glanced to the side and he saw her, he took a quick glance in the room where other women were gathered holding what looked like steaming cups of tea or coffee.  
The scene looked so normal, Carol was standing just the same, just another wife, chattering easily to one of the women. The woman who she was talking to would glare daggers at her every time she turned away from her looking like she was tasting acid in her cup.  
He shook his head bewildered at her and she gave him one of her quick meaningful smiles, her face briefly flashing in pain as she watched him being dragged away.  
He half laughed in contempt as he saw the old familiar truck again, "Ye kidding me right?"  
They ignored him pushing him more eagerly towards it, "Won't be a long drive, don't you worry."  
He was getting sick of being pushed around like some sort of rag doll. He was tossed head first again into solid ground, "Fuckin dickheads!" he cursed.

"Is that Dixon?"  
His head jolted upright looking around the darkness uselessly, that couldn't be who it fucking sounded like, could it? "Only one man can curse like that?" he sniggered.  
"Shane?"  
"The one and only."  
His heart actually sank not cause Shane was an asshole but cause he thought they might find him and now that ship was most certainly sailed. "They have Rick?" he asked his voice grim.  
He chuckled, "No they didn't get him. Thankfully Lori called him back to the house and me being a martyr kept looking. This is the thanks I got."  
"You kept looking!" he exclaimed in disbelief, "For me."  
"Don't sound so shocked I'm not going to confess my undying love for ye or anything. It's my fuckin job and I'm pretty good at it. Why I'm in this shit hole."  
He shook his head in silent laughter, of all people to be here. A lot different from his journey in the truck with Carol, he most certainly wasn't hugging him.  
"You find Carol?"  
He didn't know why but he didn't want to answer. Made this whole thing seem too real to say it out loud kinda hoped this was just some fucked up dream he was having.  
He nodded slowly not tryina find Shane's figure in the dark, "Kinda figured. She doing alright?"  
"Whatcha think?"  
"Poor woman…" he slapped one of his clumsy hands down on the floor of the truck.  
"We gotta get her out. She doesn't deserve this she's just after losing her daughter and now this…" he laughed with little feeling and he could feel Shane looking intently at his face, "I promised her I'd get her out of this…He has her."  
"Who?"  
"Negan man in charge. He made her one of his wives." He couldn't help the catch in his voice as he spoke and if he picked up on it he didn't comment thank god.  
"His wives?!"  
"Don't fuckin ask mans a psycho…Think I know what I'll these missing persons reports I've been getting are finally about. So at least one case is solved." He said with little feeling.  
"We'll give these assholes a run for their money, you couldn't of been born with a skull that thick for no reason." He teased lightly.  
"Fuck off."

"Time to go." They were hauled once again into what was probably a vacant lot before but it was no lined with cabins, and buildings in the middle of construction.  
Dust specks floated around them from the sounds of it was from heavy machinery someone was operating, he was building his own fuckin empire and we were his slaves.  
Didn't go to college for this shit. "Get this guy must have some weird thing for Hitler huh?" Shane laughed looking at the hundred or more men who had their head downs working with robotic like movements.  
They didn't even flick their eyes up to look at their approaching figures or try tilt their head just continued what they were doing be it lifting bricks, wood, shovelling cement or being the poor guy who had to walk around with a wheelbarrow bringing it from place to place.  
The sun was beating down on him already, he could feel the thick humid air on his skin, they pushed them forward to the cement letting go of them, and they sniggered. "You even think of tryina escape…" he looked excitedly to his friend, "Well let's just I'm gonna enjoy it."  
First thing he did was rip off his sleeves on his shirt tryna get some sort of breeze hit his skin, inhaling deeply he grabbed the shovel tight in his hands getting ready to work.  
Shane thumped his arm bewildered, "What the hell ye think your doing?"  
"Workin."  
"We ain't staying here. M'not gonna be some man's bitch!" he snapped loudly.  
"Shut it." He shoved him until he stumbled backwards a step, "Use your head for once Shane. We can't just go busting out of here like the terminator ain't gonna work."  
Shane was still fuming but he was listening that was something, fuckin hot head, "We gotta see which exits we got to get out of here, and we gotta convince all these men to fight with us. By the looks of it won't be fuckin easy, they're half dead already."  
His shoulders dropped in defeat but he still stared him down like he was waiting for his instruction normally he just took his own lead, "So for now get to work."  
He leaned down and grabbed his shovel sighing all the while, "Not dying in this place."  
"Neither am I."

 _He didn't fuckin get what this dam teacher was sayin to him something about some fuckin waterfall erosion that he couldn't give two dicks about. He knew he was meant to learn about it but he'd been too busy tryna learn how to dodge his pa's right hook, thought it seemed more important at the time. Now as he sat uncomfortable in his chair his face flaming red as she chose to embarrass him in front of the whole dam class, he thought otherwise.  
"What do you mean you don't know." She said shortly.  
He could hear that fat prick Ed sniggering, "Shouldn't ye know what it mean, you is a teacher after all."  
Her eyebrows rose up to the top of her forehead, she took one raging step towards him just ready to lay one fiery speech on him when Carol interrupted.  
"Miss if you were having sex underneath a waterfall, and it started to erode could you die?"  
He spluttered into a laugh his eyes flicking to Carol who gave him a bold knowing smile, he shook his head in disbelief still chuckling to himself.  
The whole class had dissolved into a state of amused shock and the teacher couldn't do much about it cause she looked so dam sincere.  
Her eyes were locked intently with the teachers, head peered forward thoughtfully, finger nails tipping on the table. Her cheeks tinged red for a second before she started to answer Carol trying to keep her voice neutral, "Well Carol I wouldn't advise having sex in a waterfall."  
"Okay just for future reference." She smiled sweetly.  
"Maybe not an appropriate question for class, ask me in private next time please."  
"Sorry miss."  
He reached out lightly tapping her arm as Carol ducked out with the rest of the people herding out from class, she swiftly turned to face him with a playful smile.  
"Thanks." He muttered.  
"No problem, doesn't hurt knowing if I can have sex in a waterfall anyways."  
He couldn't help the chuckle that left his lips, her eyes lit up pointing accusingly at him with one finger, "Your actually laughing."  
"Shut up." He spat back still unable to beat the smile off his face.  
"And smiling. I'm a miracle worker!" she exclaimed feigning shock.  
They stood exchanging shy, amused smiles in the hallway. "Thanks anyways."  
" Daryl." She waved back over her shoulder at him as she walked away, he smiled to himself before catching whispers from some assholes his face falling grim again, he shoved his hands in his pockets, ducked his head and went home._

They lined them up like soldiers giving them their intake of water every two hours which was surprisingly generous of them considering the circumstances. Crippling, slave driving heat made it hard to take a clean breathe of air but he wouldn't look tired to them yet.  
The men approached him and Shane, they both squared their shoulders against them staring them dead in the eyes, tryin real hard not to snarl at them. With jeering smiles they tossed them the bottles of water purposely dropping Daryl's at his feet. "Better get that." He laughed.  
Ignoring the protests from his weary body he bent down to get him and went stumbling forward landing in the dirt, his hands scraped and sore, well fuck.  
"You can't treat him like that, there's no need." A man stepped forward heavy set of a man, late fifties but stocky enough to make you believe he could work forever.  
He kept walking towards them, his mouth set in an angry line and he knew now wasn't the goddam time to do this shit. They were amused by his outburst, he could see the malicious thoughts just rolling around their empty heads. "It's alright." He said getting to his feet, brushing off the dirt and eagerly taking a sip of his water.  
"No it's not." He snapped in an emotional outburst.  
One of the men whispered in his ear and the next thing he knew the men were tackling the outspoken man to the ground and beating his face in. He couldn't make himself sit still, he couldn't. A feral growl ripped from his throat, his body on fire and he tackled two of the men off him ignoring Shane roaring his name, "Daryl! No!"  
In a bloody rage he kept hitting them both until his whole hand was numb feeling himself start to shake, he was eventually pulled off them panting. The men he hit had busted up lips and were barely seeing anything through their bulging eyes. "Get him on his knees!" the man he really fucked up roared, his voice trembling as he wiped the blood from his face.  
The man they'd started hitting was standing wordlessly off to the side holding his broken face, he was shoved to his knees, feeling the barrel of the gun tipping off the back of his head.  
Shit, he'd really fucked up. He promised Carol he'd get them out.  
"You dumbass." He heard Shane snap he swore he heard some sort of emotion curl up in the back of Shane's voice must be high or something.  
"Get her out." He ordered him as the gun was locked and loaded he could see by Shane's eyes that it was resting on the trigger.  
"What the fuck you think your at?!" one of Negan's most trusted stormed over and the gun left the back of his head, he sighed with relief as subtly as he could.  
"Look what he did!" he gestured to all the men around him and he laughed to himself, felt fuckin good at least he stopped them.  
"Can't kill him. Boss rules. He's friends with his new wife and if she's gonna let him bed her, her friend has to leave you know he likes them willing and all that shit."  
His eyes shot up and he tried to scramble to his feet, he wanted to grab him by the throat it scared him how much he needed to. "Daryl." Shane warned him.  
"Someone has to pay…"  
"Your right."  
"Me. I started it." His eyes wet with tears he stepped forward with his proud battered face locking eyes with Daryl and nodding.  
"I can't let ye…"  
"It was me not you." He got gracefully to his knees, "I have to do this."  
Without a moment of hesitation the gun was back in his head, the shot rang off and his now exploded head dropped to the ground along with his cold body.  
A silence enveloped everyone but in the air he could feel the anger, the contempt in it. Maybe now they'd be willing to fight. Ain't for nothin. Can't be.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry if this feels a bit rushed but was dying to write the next chapter...Anyways enjoy :)**

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They dragged their weary bodies into their new "home" being a generous way to put it, was like something of a concentration camp. Keeping twenty men squeezed in tight quarters together ain't a good idea, fights were bound to break out between them but suppose that's what Negan wanted.  
Collapsing down on his cot he finally let himself breathe a sigh of relief, arms hanging on his knees he sat, his whole body felt like it was swaying even though he was still.  
Even his head didn't feel connected to his neck no more he could sleep for years, he didn't want to though, how could he sleep knowing who put them there.  
Shane looked disapproving across from him he was never one to hide his feelings but there he was studying him like he was a dam science experiment, "What." He snapped already to irritable for this shit, he laughed holding his hands up in mock surrender.  
"Nothin…."  
"You are just dying to open that big mouth of yours, so just say it already."  
He leaned in closer with that cocking, knowing grin already feeling amused by whatever he was going to say, "What's the story with you and Carol, huh?"  
"No story." He said shortly trying yank his shoe off his feet seemed to be sewn on.  
"Really," he jerked his head at him looking for his full attention, his head snapped up to meet those taunting eyes, "How come you got yourself put on the case then?"  
He opened his mouth to protest, give out, something, he shouldn't fuckin know that but he was already talking over him buzzing with information.  
"I looked into it. I'm a cop cause I can't mind my own dam business why I'm so good." He gave him a hard stare but Shane was never one to back down.  
"Ye tellin me there's no reason ye did that?"

 _He stared down at the pictures of men and women who were know just ghosts, only living in their missing persons reports. Tragic eyes seemed to follow his every movement as he paced endlessly up and down his office ripping off the skin by his fingernails. He couldn't deal with one more person looking at him like he was some sort of god and he could magically discover their loved one for them. Like he was the hero to save them. He wasn't. He couldn't find any of them, all he could do was grit his teeth and try rattle his brain for anything, anyway to find them before the people they left behind became ghosts too. He groaned slamming his hand down on his desk the whole thing vibrating under the weight, the door cracked open to show Bob's familiar face.  
"Not going well huh?"  
He shook his head sadly not even looking at him.  
"Here." He thrust him a coffee and he felt himself smile a little as the taste hit his tongue.  
"Thanks."  
Bob looked grave, something happened, another case he couldn't solve just add it to the pile. "What?"  
"Don't miss a beat do ye?" he smiled weakly before closing the door with a click behind him, "You know a Carol Peletier right?"  
His heart jumped at the sound of her name, eyes leaping up to meet his and he tried to make his reaction seem more natural, relaxed but Bob was good at his job.  
"Take that as a yes." He smirked, "There's been an accident, now the cops down there are going to deal with. So it's nothing to do with us but I just thought you might want to know…"  
"Spit it out." He barked trying to calm the roughness in his tone.  
"Her husband and daughter were found dead in her house and Carol, well no one can find her. People suspecting she killed them but you know her a bit maybe you could offer some insight."  
"That piece of shit." He found himself muttering under his breath the pounding in his chest making it difficult to breathe he let the coffee down, clogging his heart is all it was.  
"Put me on the case." He ordered.  
"Daryl."  
"Bob do it."  
"I'll have to ask the higher ups, I can't just put you on it."  
"Then ask them Hershel won't mind. I'll find her." He said sincerely.  
Bob smirked trying to hide it by holding his coffee cup over his mouth but he wasn't going to ask and draw attention he just needed to be allowed find her that was all.  
"Sure it's not a conflict of interest?"  
"Barely knew her, ye know I didn't have any friends at school."  
He looked unconvinced but he nodded retreating from the room, "Sure man, whatever. Call you when I get the okay."  
He left that night and raced to the crime scene despite Bob's protests about him needing sleep and that he was worried about him or some shit.  
He needed to find her._

"Nothing going on." He grunted ducking his eyes.  
"Dixon I'm not Rick. I'll keep bugging ye. Got nothing better to do."  
He unwillingly looked into his prying eyes, "She's my friend of course I'm gonna put myself on the case. I wanted to find her ain't rocket science."  
Shane still didn't look pleased he just smiled falsely at him, "Friend huh?"  
He chose to ignore him, it wasn't something he wanted to talk about with Shane. Biggest mouth in the county, he wasn't sure what he'd say anyway. She was his friend is all he had right now.  
He spoke up first, "Look I know everyone thinks I'm a dick cause I was screwing…"  
The words got lost on his tongue and he looked lamely at his hands coward couldn't even finish the sentence he was only screwing over his so called best friend, no fuckin loyalty at all.  
"Screwing your best friend wife." He supplied without judgement it wasn't his dam business and he didn't wanna egg Shane on so he could poke and prod at him.  
"How'd ye know?"  
"I'm a detective ain't I? Everybody knows maybe even Rick."  
Shane actually looked fuckin guilty his smirk dropped from his face revealing a tired and heartbroken man, his hands clinging together for support. "Ye so smart when do you guess it started?" he questioned pretending to be jovial.  
"Senior year."  
His eyebrows shot up, "Observant."  
"Look I know what yer thinking." He objected.  
"Naw ye don't I don't give a shit."  
"Look I love her. I always fuckin have and I always hoped, it sounds fuckin pathetic and your gonna laugh but I thought she'd pick me. Stupid huh?"  
There was something missing in the light heartedness of his tone that made him not wanna tease him, it seemed too fuckin cruel. "It is pathetic. Ye didn't get the picture when she married Rick."  
He laughed shortly and it was cold rattling sort of laugh that was as close to a sob as Shane could do, he diverted his eyes from his dying form. "I did. But I just ended up sitting at a bar with a drink in my hand that tasted rotten in my mouth no matter what I ordered and I just couldn't sit at the bar anymore I had to leave. I went back to her and she told me she'd never choose me but she didn't push me away and that was enough."  
He didn't know what to say to him and he seemed to be looking for some sort of answer here but he was worse at this than he apparently was. Lori Grimes. He clearly had rotten taste in women and he couldn't help him there. "She's screwing ye both over. Ye should get over her and go find someone else." He said shortly.  
Shane peered up at him already shaking his head, "Would ye walk away from Carol?"  
"It's not the same." He said quickly on a short a breath.  
"You mightn't realise it yet but it is."

The day came to see Carol and he was buzzing a million miles per hour, he had to see if she was okay see if he could find her underneath the mask she had to keep on.  
They dragged him, pushed and shoved him into the room just to mess with him, he wasn't there favourite guy but jokes on them cause it was the one time he was going willingly. He couldn't give a shit what they did to him cause she was sitting in a chair across from him and she was still here. Two men stood guard while he gently as he could lowered himself into the chair his eyes hesitantly looking into hers, he didn't no where to start.  
The room was empty it was just them in their two chairs in the middle of a big empty room with Negan's guard dogs watching their every move getting ready to bound back to Negan with something to report.  
"Ye okay?" he asked gently.  
"Can we get some tea over here?" she smiled brilliantly at the guys who were standing guard and they cursed and objected but all under their breath she pulled some strings round here.  
While the men conversed she quickly leaned into his ear, "Talk quick."  
"We are getting the men together about a hundred of them, we're gonna fight and get you out."  
She shot back in her chair her face changing again no longer filled with any anxiety she smiled easily at him her bright blue eyes shining. "How are you doing?" her eyes flicked to his in warning before she quickly muttered, "You should leave me behind. You could get out."  
Ignoring the anxiety in his chest at her last words, "Just peachy." He said bitterly.  
He saw the flicker of concern in her eyes before she hid it, "I ran into Shane."  
"What." She exclaimed and it was dam honest.  
"He was looking for me and well he found me."  
She looked forlorn back at him and he could see the tired lines etching her face, she reached out taking his open hand with hers. Curling her fingers into his as discreetly as she could squeezing it hard and he found it uncomfortable to breathe. She wasn't that strong must've been something else that made his skin feel like it was on fire. "Tell him I'm sorry. I don't want anyone else to get hurt cause of the choices I've made."  
"Carol." He interjected feeling weird hearing the desperation in his own tone, "Stop I ain't leaving you." he whispered lowly.  
"Why not?" it was a good question, simple but he didn't think it was so easy to answer.  
"I don't have nothing to go back to. You could just leave me."  
"Either do I." he snapped shortly feeling anger bubbling up inside him he needed her to understand….something.  
"Your strong. You know that as else ye woulda given up by now but ye hasn't yer still hear fighting so stop talking bullshit. I won't leave here without you." He said firmly leaning in close to her keeping his voice hushed.  
"I think you've done your job to a high enough degree Daryl, you can stop now."  
He felt like fuckin shaking her. She was tryna make him walk away but he couldn't.  
"Ye know that isn't why m'doing this."  
Her big, animated eyes turned to him with happy tears as she smiled at him gratefully, clinging onto his worn hand she finally stopped objecting. "I'm so sorry I got you into all this. Maybe if I hada followed you a bit longer I could've…." She didn't finish and he found himself leaning forward eagerly and when she turned her head from him, he reached out his thumb under her chin caressing it and tilted her back towards him. "I promise I'll get ye out no matter what."  
"That's what I'm worried about." She said quietly but it stilled him.  
"Enough." One of the men growled as they picked a very irritable Daryl by his arms hauling him out of the room and he kept glancing back at Carol watching her get further and further away from him.  
"Didn't get my fuckin tea." He joked bitterly and they shot him daggers.

Like a dead man walking he stood back in their "home" in the middle of the floor feeling useless and empty he kicked out hitting the side of his cot but it barely made a sound which angered him further. "How is she?" Shane asked sincerely.  
He couldn't answer as he tried to control his angry breathing, "She's alright. Wants us to get out and leave her behind but she's just tryna be selfless. I won't leave her, you and the rest can go but…."  
Shane put one hand on his shoulder, "Stop. These men all have people they care about inside that compound and I wouldn't leave you take all the glory of getting her out." He smirked jostling his shoulder back and forward he nodded grimly.  
"How's the lobster in there?" one of the men shouted bitterly.  
He rolled his eyes turning his back on him, "They giving spa treatment there now or…"  
"We are all gonna have to work together if we wanna get out and get back the people we care about out so how about you lay off." He responded gruffly.  
"Who you got in there?"  
"A friend." He said quietly not quite believing it was a good enough title for her.  
"A friend well we've got wives in there, people we love. How do we know your not some traitor whose gonna screw us over?"  
"You don't."  
"M'not following him into…."  
"Lay off." Snapped Shane turning on him with a silencing look.  
He was never much good at getting people to like him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Things get a bit rough this chapter, so my bad..Enjoy :)**

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Sweat was becoming like a second layer of sweat to them as they hunched down shovelling until their forearms burned and their legs shook. Shane and his conversation started to dissolve into a comfortable, companion like silence as they worked. Both too worryingly tired, trying save some energy for when they were ready to bust out of here but they'd be working most on adrenaline then and he'd be thinking of Carol. Every time he tried to flick his now wet hair out from his eyes, sniffling he would catch them all staring like he was some goddam science experiment.  
He was used to the stares and mistrust but it'd been a while, he could see where they were all coming from with their loved one depending on them but that didn't mean he couldn't mutter, "pricks," under his breath, staring at them hard until they turned away skittish from him.  
"Gonna have to fix that." Shane observed oh so helpfully, he ignored him putting his head down to work, he did the same but it didn't stop him.  
"How you expect to lead these people into basically war and have half of them want to stab you in the back, ain't gonna work. And I'm not telling Carol that being an arrogant prick got you killed."  
"I ain't their leader. You are." He said tiredly a hint of worry in his voice.  
"Naw you are why there so angry."  
"M'not getting special treatment. What the hell I meant to do get them fuckin presents, sure let's see if I can dig some up." He muttered crossly and Shane chuckled beside him.  
"M'just saying…." Shane leaned on his shovel still looking at him while he busted his ass, he was just looking for a reason not to work.  
"So you and Carol work out your shit yet?"  
He threw up his hands tiredly, "Ye never stop do ye."  
"You know if your afraid don't be, cause pretty she liked you in high school, doubt much has changed. Plus her standards aren't so high, ye shouldn't have to do too much." He laughed shaking his shoulder with one rough hand, he flinched away from him.  
"Ye just tryna get out of work?"  
"Hell yeah m'not gonna stand here working like a slave for some prick. Also I love it when m'right, soon enough I will be." He smiled hugely at him, he opened his mouth to insult him but he had to admit Shane didn't really bother him too much anymore.  
He hated saying it but he'd kinda become a comforting presence.  
"Whatever." He muttered smirking back at him.

This is how he got so worked up by the time it came round to see Carol again. His head was fucking wrecked, Shane had infected it with doubt.  
First he looked her up and down making sure she was okay not just physically but emotionally, Carol knew straight away.  
She nodded giving a reassuring smile whispering, "I'm fine."  
His smile rattled her as he was starting to notice that it always did, he didn't know how he could be so ignorant for so fucking long.  
He was shuffling nervously in his seat as he looked at Carol's open, honest eyes. God dam Shane for filling him with doubt he hadn't thought nothing before.  
"What's wrong?" she laughed and it was an honest laugh.  
"Nothin."  
"It's not nothing." She laughed jostling his knee both of them seeming to forget the two guards standing guard, they all just fell away.  
"Ye like me?" he eventually blurted out abruptly.  
"Of course I do."  
"Naw not like that. Shit. I'm bad at this. Just Shane told me some things and if he was just messing with me I'm gonna beat the shit out of him when I get back but I was just…."  
He broke looking up to see her face lifting up in an amused smile that just about made him trip over his words, he didn't know why he hadn't realised it sooner but this felt bigger than just some crush on a girl. "Daryl." She said quietly willing him to get to the point.  
He took a haggard breath continuing moving his body a little closer to her, "When we was in school you liked me as in ye didn't just feel sorry for me."  
Her eyes widened she looked at him baffled her hand falling onto his hand, "You picked the oddest place to have this conversation…"  
"I know but if I didn't say it now I wasn't gonna ever say it and I had to."  
One of her fingers seemed to make some sort of slow trail up and down his hand like it had a mind of his own, he found himself gaping at her guilty hand as he hoped and prayed she couldn't hear his thrashing heartbeat. "I wasn't friend with you because I felt sorry for you it was because I liked you. I didn't go around threatening half the school for teasing you just cause you were my friend."  
"You did what." He gaped at her and she blushed smiling shyly.  
"Why didn't ye tell me. I know I was an awkward asshole but it might of woke me up."  
"I was just happy you let me be your friend. I wasn't going to push my luck."  
He sure as hell hoped to god there was some chance she still liked him cause looking at her he finally felt like he caught up. He let her trickle her fingertips along his hand before turning his guilty eyes up at her, "But if I hada done something, not been so stupid I coulda prevented all this."  
"Daryl." She scoffed in disbelief, "You aren't seriously blaming yourself for the choices I made, please don't be so stupid."  
Like he was a dam child he was about to ask her if she still liked him but then something happened that was like an outer body of experience. His hands reached out exploring her face, his palm cupping her jaw, one unsure finger twirling into her hair he felt his own breath stop and heard her breath hitch. Her eyes now nervous and timid flicked to his watching him as his hand trailed the side of her face.  
"M'sorry. Are my hands rough?"  
"No." she gasped much too quickly and he smiled boldly tryna hide it.  
"Daryl." She said fearfully and he shoulda been he ain't practised in romance.  
His thumb lightly brushed her cheek, he looked to her again silently asking if it was okay but she looked expecting at him like he should already be doing it. Leaning in he finally captured her lips, the soft press of her lips against his felt like home, feeling the gasp of surprise in his mouth he felt himself chuckle. He drew back for a second but her hand entangled itself in his shirt tugging his willing body closer to hers and his clumsy lips collided with hers.  
Their noses knocked together briefly, "Shit sorry."  
"It's okay." She laughed quietly her hand brushing some strands of loose hair from his face as her lips touched lightly off his own again, inhaling him and he felt his chest rattle.  
He think he finally understood what Shane was talking about. This was worth everything.  
"What do we have here?" the booming voice made them abruptly separate and he saw the flicker of fear on Carol's face that made his heart race twice as fast, he couldn't hurt her.  
He turned glaring at Negan with hard eyes despite Carol's warning stare, "I said what do we have here?!" he shouted kicking the chair out from under him leaving him sitting on the ground and as he spun to look for explanation from Carol there was only one thing he could do.  
"It was me. I kissed her, ain't her fault."  
Carol looked desperately at him scolding him, "You've been away. You were busy and I haven't seen you. It just happened I'm so sorry. I just missed you." Carol invaded Negan's space cupping his jaw looking eagerly into his eyes and she deserved some applaud he didn't know how she was doing it.  
"M'not angry. Do I look angry?" he laughed spinning around to his tale telling men.  
"No m'not angry but Daryl here needs to learn a lesson about taking people's things more importantly my things. Thought they taught that in kindergarten but then maybe are friend here Daryl didn't get a chance to go he is after all a backwaters hick." He pretended to look sympathetic, "Anyways get him on the ground boys, your lucky it isn't Lucille doing the talking."

He shoved his head down to the ground making him taste the dirty cement whose floor was covered with blood from hundreds of men who left wailing from this world.  
He tried to squirm out of his grasp but it was useless pure blinding rage was controlling him he could feel his trembling hand at the back of his head and the lonesome teardrop of rage falling unwillingly onto his hand. He was glad he couldn't see her face, he didn't want to see the sympathy or anguish that would morph her features and make her vulnerable to the beast that was controlling her he wasn't worth it. Bracing his hands against the floor in protective like claws he arched his back trying to control his own trying movements. "Take it off." He commanded and he heard the hurried shuffling of feet rushing to his hunched figure, he'd been stupid.  
Some things never change huh. They slit the back of his shirt open before ripping it from his body leaving him open and defenceless. He could feel his scars burning into Negan's eyes and he hollered, "Would you look at that boys."  
He broke into a joyful laugh tapping his bat off the ground with one hard thunk, they all joined in on his laughter he could almost see them nudging each other like school kids on the playground.  
"We got a damaged one here boys. Did your daddy used to beat you?" he asked rhetorically cause he was already talking again, "Oh or was it your mother. This is just sad. God I almost don't want to punish you, makes me feel god awful but…..see no one and I mean _no one_ touches my things, even someone as _fucked up_ as yourself."  
The hairs lifted on his arms as the cold started to creep underneath his skin he shivered involuntarily drawing Negan's attention yet again. "Oh no your cold that's awful, let us just warm you _up!_ Daddy issues, mommy issues and now Negan issues. This is a sad day."  
He felt small and weak he wanted to get up and slit his throat it worried how much he knew he was capable of doing just that but Carol was here. If they used her to get to him he couldn't ever really walk out of here. Finding out how to take heavy impact in the least pain possible was his specialty he could do it one more time.

The belt being slid out from someone's trousers was a sound that made him feel like insects were opening up his flesh and digging their way into his skin, he stopped himself from gagging.  
"Let her rip boys before Lucille here gets jealous."  
"Stop. Negan please." She sobbed and she heard a hand tugging at his leather jacket.  
"Ah, ah, ah Carol. You know he did wrong here. Forcing himself on a woman and someone in as fragile a state as you. You can't tell me he doesn't deserve it."  
She slapped at his jacket, and he could feel the whole room go still. "Things are a tad emotional so I'm willing to let that go Carol. He's your friend I understand that but even friends have to be disciplined."  
The belt ripped through the air slapping down on his skin, the burn was all too familiar he bit down on his lip hissing on the pain. Before he could brace himself again it was coming back down on his back his whole body jostled, "Hand it over." He heard Negan instruct something unhinged about his voice.  
The belt went thrashing through the air back and forth in a minute of seconds he couldn't even manage a coherent thought before it was digging into his old scars, reopening the wounds.  
It was almost better, he couldn't even feel the pain, he was numb.  
He didn't realise the whipping had stopped until he heard the deep, guttural angry cries ripping from Carol's throat like an animal. "Boys take him back."

He remembered the searing hot pain in his back, he remembered the sound of Negan's boots storming away in a rage, and he remembered her reassuring warm hand on his shoulder as she leaned into him her lips softly brushing against his ear. Her warm breath hitting it soothingly as she whispered, "I'm so sorry." Almost like she was choking on it and she was gone.  
He was carried like a dead soldier at war, the crisp air felt good on his now open bloody scars.  
When he woke up he was groggy and disorientated in their "home" where they were kept like chickens only made to work and then suffer and there was Shane staring down at him.  
Concern he thought it looked like furrowing his eyebrows, his voice dropped lowly in what sounded like disappointment and sorrow, "What ye do this time?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry got a bit lost in my flashback was meant to write more of the actual story but anyways..enjoy :)**

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Waving one tired hand at him muttering what was meant to be, "Fuck off," but it slurred out of his uncooperative mouth the burning on his back making it hard to think never mind move.  
Bracing his hands against the hard mattress he tried to push himself up off the bed it felt like new layers of skin were being peeled off his body, hissing and cursing in pain he kept shifting himself upwards.  
Shane hovered unhelpfully one confused hand outreached as if he was going to help him, "I'm probably gonna make this worse but ye wanna a hand or…?"  
"M'fine." He growled darkly finally managing to sit upright trying as sit as tall as he possibly could hunching his shoulders ain't something his back could handle right now.  
"Ye gonna tell me what happened?"  
Was he? No. It was his own dam problem and he knew he fucked up big time, they were meant to all get out of this hell hole in just a few days. Now here he was a cripple.  
What good was he to them now? "Well at least ye won them over they no longer suspect your one of them."  
He snorted what could be a laugh, "No," spinning his head to look at them darkly he spat, "The lobster was pretty dam nice ye should go try some."  
Shane chuckled loudly as the men now embarrassed dropped their heads in shame pretending to look a lot more busy than they actually were. "What ye do?"  
"Let's just say I ain't Negan's favourite guy." He said shortly hoping that it would be enough to satisfy Shane's curiousity.  
"That ain't fair….."  
He thought he heard Shane mumble but the world round him started to get a little fuzzy, with shaky hands he tried to adjust his weak body back onto the bed.  
Vaguely remembered hearing Shane call out to him, "Hey man ye alright?"  
Gratefully he let himself be pulled unconscious it hurt too much when he was awake anyways.

 _The town was so dam small so when celebrations were to be had they all swarmed out in full force sniffing out alcohol like a shark to blood.  
The town was celebrating people leaving to try their hand at college, I'd be celebrating to if I had jackasses like these for children, no wonder people looked so dam happy.  
Sitting out in the smoking area taking slow drags of his cigarette while taking swigs of his now warm beer, he felt his muscles start to relax.  
Sure it was just him now but he'd always done pretty well on his own.  
People barely took notice of him sitting on the bench his head ducked in thoughtfulness they were too busy spurting madly with laughter and chattering each other's ears off.  
He couldn't knock off the amused smirk as he watched the limbs of drunk people get entangled in one and another tackling them to the ground, numb they'd brush themselves off and stumble onwards again. Didn't matter if they were dam near bleeding out.  
People here couldn't hold their liquor to save their lives.  
"Is that Dixon?" Shane cooed falsely.  
Round fuckin a million, "I was at your school since the beginning dumbass."  
"Hey, hey stop now." Rick ordered calmly finally after crawling out of Shanes shadow to play referee.  
Lori stood beside them eternally bored sucking desperately on her cigarette, anxious eyes looking to Shane and back to Rick again. She looked like a woman with the weight of the world on her shoulders.  
Couldn't be that fuckin bad.  
Rubbing one hand affectionately through Ricks hair, she tried to move them along tugging Rick closer to her to "whisper", "Come on I don't wanna hang around here."  
Patting her hand he grimaced looking over at Daryl, nodding he wrapped one arm around her waist and she burrowed willingly closer to his side.  
He caught the spiteful looked she tossed Shane, biting down roughly on his lip he ran one hand through his hair, his eyes now shining with a coat of tears in the light.  
"No friends still huh Dixon." He barked hoarsely.  
"Shane. Stop. Let's go." Rick shoved him forwards with one hand and he trudged onwards trying give Daryl one last hard look but he scoffed and turned away from him. Poor dumb bastard.  
"Carol's in the pub just beside if you were looking for her." Rick looked dam well pleased with him as he relayed the information trotting back to his friends with a smirk on his face.  
"So what." He tried to say but he was already gone.  
Screw it. Standing up feeling a bit dizzier than he had starting off he decided to move to the other smoking area trying to tell himself it wasn't to see her.  
His heart beating just a little quicker he walked slowly in tryna decide whether to look for her but he didn't have to.  
She was perched on a bench just as he had been holding a beer alone, only difference was she didn't smoke, better off to.  
"Havin fun?"  
She looked up startled but as soon as she saw it was him she smiled gratefully and he was dam well chuffed at that, wasn't many people who liked to see him.  
"Oh yeah tons." She said dryly taking a big gulp of her beer.  
Not sure whether to sit beside her or not he chose to stand holding his beer loosely by his side, she cast her eyes downward and she looked sad as her lonely eyes drifted away.  
"Here with Ed?"  
"Hmm." She abruptly came back to him.  
"Ed?"  
"Oh he's inside with his friends so drunk I think he doesn't even know who I am."  
He could tell she was tryin her dam hardest not to be bitter but he couldn't understand why, he was a jackass if he left a good looking girl like her all alone.  
"Don't seem right."  
She looked at him curiously, "Him leaving you all alone."  
"I'm not alone I have you." She smirked at him her blue eyes sparkling dangerously in the red shine of the heater, "Besides ye know all his friends are leaving. Last hora and all."  
"Why ain't ye with Lori and Rick?"  
She looked amused by him her eyes flicking up to his boldly as they looked him up and down, he watched as her fingers absently picked the paper off the side of the bottle.  
"Only friend I really care bout saying bye to, is right here."  
He couldn't help the nervous smile and his cheeks tinging red, shit, why couldn't he think of something smart to say back. Merle would know what to say.  
The silence etched on till a point where it was getting awkward the two of them desperately thinking of the right thing to say. "Ye like Ed?" he asked abruptly.  
"Yeah, I mean he's not my first choice but…" she kept looking at him oddly and he wished he knew what the fuck that meant, "It's nice for someone to want you."  
"Clearly ain't wanting ye enough." He scoffed and he wished he could take the stupid words back as soon as they left his mouth.  
The hurt that flashed across her face was unbearable the way her mouth parted in a silent gasp, the way her blue eyes widened shining with unshed tears it fuckin hurt and he felt the wind go out of him.  
"M'sorry. I didn't mean it the way it sounded." He pressed anxiously.  
"It's okay. Your right. But people never seem to want me as much as I want them so I guess I'll just have to settle. Night Daryl."  
She was pretending she was fine but he could hear the chip in her voice and the hurt making it catch in her throat, she tossed back her beer placing it down hard on the bench.  
Marching towards the door he knew he had to say something he didn't know when he was going to see her again, "Carol." He called.  
Thankfully she stopped and looked at him.  
"We're alright aren't we?" he hated how small his voice sounded why did she always do this to him?  
She just stared at him and he didn't know if she was going to answer.  
"Cause you is kinda the only friend I got."  
She smiled sadly breaking into a light laugh before turning quickly back to him to hug him tightly to her, her arms not really wrapping the whole way around him. Her warm breath hit his neck and he felt himself relax as he breathed her in deeper.  
"Of course." She smiled turning and waving over her shoulder.  
He stood there for a couple of minutes not really knowing where to go, barely finishing his beer he stepped back out into the darkness breathing in the clean air.  
He wasn't gonna miss this place but he could at least admit finally he'd miss her._

Gasping awake to the burning sweat that was setting his whole body a light, he saw Shane briefly in the back look at him sympathetically as some of Negan's men dragged him out by his arm, one stopping to bury his fist in his gut. "Time to get to work!"  
"You's already beat the shit out of him. Give him a second." Shane barked and seeing the two assholes exchange looks it had him worried so he knocked his chest into the two guys back legs.  
His weight sent them both hurtling towards the ground in one heap, Shane took a worried step forward, "Don't."  
Stopping conflicted he met Daryl's eyes with sympathy before they turned pushing him back down, their eyes burning with hatred as they kicked him in the chest and back over and over again.  
He gasped, he coughed, he spluttered but he wasn't gonna beg them to stop, over his dead body.  
Finally they stood him up throwing him outside to work with the others, watching him like a hawk he made his aching body keep going. He had to. For her.  
"Man what did you do?" Shane whispered urgently.  
He shook his head at him. He backed down, even shaking his head caused his body to shake so talking was just more strain on him. Fuck. M'gonna kill that prick he thought savagely.  
"Negan wants you." They pulled him backwards hauling him away and the men resorted to urgent whispers he caught a few of them. "He's dead."  
"What do you suppose he did?"  
God he hoped they were wrong.

His eyes shot into his head as he saw Carol wearing some tight black dress that clung to every curve on her body, gulping he tried to pull his eyes off her.  
Why would Negan have her here like this? He knew the answer but he just hoped he was wrong.  
Tearful eyes met his and she nodded. Feeling the air get kicked out of his chest he fell into the chair he was being led to, two men firmly at his side, both ready to hold him still if he so as much move.  
He coughed weakly and he saw them flinch their hand hovering just over his wrist.  
"So glad you could make it." Negan boomed strolling casually in smiling easily at him as if he hadn't tried to beat him to death for touching Carol.  
She didn't have any bruises at least. "Well I really didn't have a choice did I."  
He smiled wider at that, walking by just to pat him hard on the back. He flinched hunching forward away from his prying hand. Cursing darkly he looked up at him with hateful eyes and he expected to do something hit him, anything really but he kept grinning.  
He finally reached Carol standing behind her he put one of his hands on her bare shoulder, his thumb running slow deliberate circles, never breaking eye contact with him.  
He growled a curse under his breath but somehow Negan heard it, he must've cause he chuckled with glee trailing his hand along her collarbone and he saw her eyes go blank, she was used to just taking it. Negan leaned down sucking on the side of her neck and he was filled with cold dread as Carol sighed contently letting her neck drop back loosely. Her lips parting eagerly and waiting for him, Negan ran his tongue along his bottom lip before grinning and taking Carol's lips with his own.  
She met his eager pace with her own both fighting for dominance and he couldn't, he couldn't fuckin watch this. He knew she was acting and it ain't his place to act as if she was his but he was being pulled to the end of his thread. He tried to bite back the roar, tried to reason with himself but he was never much good at reigning in his temper.  
Snatching his arms away from his goons he brought his arms up elbowing them in the face, they groaned moving to grab him but he was already clutching the chair in a rage and fucking it at them.  
As they finally lay trapped underneath it he turned to Negan his voice shaking with anger, "Get your fucking hands off her."


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry its been a while since I updated this one lost inspiration but finally have it back I think, not too sure about the time frame of last flashback Daryl is probably round fifteen when it happened in my story. Anyways enjoy and feel free to review.. :)**

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Her eyes welled up in tears and she almost looked disappointed as she lowered her head sighing deeply, Negan drew his hand slowly away from her neck where it had been resting.  
Warningly he slid his big rough hand, along the outline of her throat with a me ticulous smile playing along the edges of his mouth.  
Holding his hands in a fake surrender he took a large step backwards and before he knew for what felt like the billionth time he was being tackled to the ground.  
His head rocked forward hitting it with an alarming amount of pressure, biting down on his lip he tasted copper filing up his mouth and he felt like he was on a goddam merry go round, always hated those fuckin things. Why would you someone want their head spinning like that, already bad enough when you drank too much and you feel the solid surface of the ground be yanked from your feet.  
Shit where the hell was all of this coming from. He was feeling fuckin delirious, he hoped he didn't turn out like his momma. Merle always warned him about that.

 _Momma slipped bedraggled from her bed one lonely slipper tumbling slowly and with little enthusiasm against the derelict wall.  
He rushed to her side as she sat barely upright one of her feet still caught underneath her body, he sniffed harshly at the waft of cigarettes and alcohol that infected his nostrils.  
"Ye alright?" he asked quietly.  
She didn't seem to hear him, red rimmed eyes stared out her doorway with ghost like indifference, cautiously he turned his head giving it a quick seeing over.  
Didn't seem to be nothing there. "Ye alright?" he repeated giving her shoulder a quick shake, the jostle seem to bring her back.  
She looked down at him like she'd never seen him before her eyes looking straight through his and it scared the crap out of him for a second.  
Suddenly she smiled weakly at him, one of her crumpled wasted fingers trailing down his face all the way to his jaw. He couldn't help the way his body tensed and recoiled at her touch or get rid of the grimace that he was making.  
"What is it?" she snapped harshly pushing him away.  
"Naughtin." He tried to push himself towards her but his stomach lurched at the thought.  
"I'm your mother. And you don't even want me to TOUCH YOU!" she roared louder than he thought she could her voice was hoarse and raspy at best.  
He felt that Merle was there before he saw him standing at the doorway he'd always felt like something like a hero before he realised what a waste of space he actually was but he'd been there for a little while at least.  
"Deryl." He said sharply and he was ready to high tail it out of there but something possessed him to grab the slipper and hand it back to her.  
Silently he thrust it towards her ducking his eyes but her scrawny hand shot out enclosing its self like a death trap around his wrist, he tried to stop the whimper that came out of him but no joy.  
"Deryl!" Merle shouted roughly and her hand opened just enough for him to jump to his feet and rush out towards Merle.  
They didn't stop walking until they were outside and Merle was desperately sucking down beer after beer and cigarettes were nothing if not a second arm to him.  
He didn't say nothing, just kept looking up at him being the observer he usually was and wondering if he was gonna end up like big old Merle to.  
"What ye keep looking at me for?"  
He looked away sharply his cheeks tinging red before he turned more defiantly towards him, "What's wrong with her, she ain't always like that."  
Merle gulped down more beer loudly, gasping, "Ye well. She probably has brain damage all the blows to the head pa's been giving her."  
The silence dragged on until he had to ask it was just niggling at him, "She gonna be okay?"  
He sighed, "Naw Deryl she ain't. Don't know if any of us are."  
He must've looked pretty dam worried cause before he knew it, surprising him, Merle was ruffling his hair affectionately even though it was too rough and much too quick.  
"You just don't go getting too many blows to the head, wouldn't want you getting any stupider, you're the brains of the family, and that's saying something. Ye hear."  
He smiled reassuringly, "Got it Merle. Don't matter how many times I get hit though, sure won't be as stupid as you."  
"Ye fucking prick." He exclaimed in disbelief still smiling._

The air shifted around them as one cold, firm voice silenced everyone's hand,  
"Stop it." She ordered, "Now."  
The men uncertainly let go of him pulling him back up to the chair looking to each other in reassurance but with one nod from her they were scrambling out of the room like a bunch of kids caught beating on some kid by the principal. Negan wasn't sayin nothing which worried the hell out of him. "I'm sick of this." She spoke calmly her head bowed down and for some reason he felt fuckin shameful as well, "I want him gone. Put him back to work. That's what he's good for, not sitting having tea party's with me. Am I understood."  
She stood tall against Negan and he himself wouldn't dare question her he was practically leaping up and down in excitement sharing a grin with him like they were old pals.  
"I sure do love a woman in charge." He grinned but Carol stood stoic one eyebrow arched disapprovingly at him, "I thought ye wanted to see yer old buddy Daryl, just doin here what you wanted."  
She stepped forward taking one of his closed hands in hers slowly grazing his knuckles with her teasing hand and he watched in disgust as Negan's eyes widened and he shuddered with pleasure.  
"So did I. But my past wasn't so good I'm sick of reminders. That's what he is." She spat the last part coldly and he felt his own chest hollow out, she didn't mean none of this.  
He had to keep his head on straight, she just acting.  
Pretending bemused to wipe sweat off his brow, he leaned down kissing her delicate hand lingering longer than necessary. "I'll let you say goodbye and then good old Daryl here can get back to work."  
"That's generous of you." She smiled stepping up on her tippy toes to give him nothing short of a sweet kiss goodbye.  
Negan childishly stuck out his tongue at him as he trotted out of the room with his merry men hot on his heals he thought for a second he was about to give him a high five, that ain't something that could sit right with him. The man was a monster and a joke.

He barely raised his head too tired to pull his body from the chair before she was rushing towards him, arms already outstretched in a comforting gesture.  
His first thought was to panic he still didn't know how to act round this woman, he was still acting like a dam kid but as she fell onto her knees her whole body falling in on itself, his tense muscles relaxed. She cupped his face in her hands with sympathetic tears, he fucking hated being pitied but with her it was earnest and he could tell it hurt her as much as it hurt him.  
Her delicate hands reached out trailing each lump, bump and bruise that was not making him look too pretty, he laughed weakly catching her exploring hand.  
"Ain't that bad. Nothin ye can do to help Carol."  
Her whole body froze at the catch of their hands and she gulped in a deep breath looking down at their hands she entwined them, he shifted uncomfortably.  
Her hands felt much too smooth in his rough, hard hands, "I ain't hurting ye am I?" he asked unsure unable to stop the reddening of his cheeks.  
She chuckled in relief staring at him in wonder and his eyes flicked warily from hers, "Daryl." She whispered squeezing her hands tighter against his.  
"Mhmm."  
"You'd never hurt me. I'm sorry, I didn't mean any of that. I just, he was gonna kill you and then I'd…" she trailed off her eyes flashing with hurt, he jerked her hand closer to him.  
"What?"  
"I'd have nothing left to live for."  
He jerked back in surprise he'd wanted her for a long time and as much as he was pretty flattered it ain't true she was stronger than anyone. "Ain't true. You woudn't give up, your too strong."  
She released her hold on his hand to trace the bump on his lip, his heart accelerated a dangerous amount as he tried to focus and stay as still as possible.  
To not scare her or himself off, "Does it hurt?"  
"Naw, not compared to the rest of me." He brushed it off casually his lip quivering in a smile.  
In a gasp she leaned forward taking his bruised and bloodied lips with her own soft but slightly chapped ones, she inhaled him deeply and he tried not to smile within her kiss.  
His hands urgently grappled to hold onto her delicate frame, one hand tanging itself in her hair tugging onto it with a sense of desperation he didn't know he had.  
She stopped in the middle of a smile, he chuckled beneath her his eyes looking up into her eyes finally alight and alive, he did that, he ain't too bad at this kissing thing.  
"I wish you'd done that a long time again, been going stir crazy." He admitted.  
She scoffed in disbelief tugging him closer for another quick kiss, his senses all super heightened and vibrating, "Could say the same thing to you."  
Just as he was about to ask what the hell she meant she was pulling herself off his lap which she's somehow managed to scramble onto. "I have to go. Bye Daryl."  
She marched out the door not a fault in her step and his couldn't help how the disappointment seemed to make his body shrink in on himself.  
Didn't even care this time when Negan smirked at him like he'd won as they dragged him away again, you ain't won nothing asshole. She ain't yours and I'm gonna fuckin beat your ass next time I see you, he thought savagely.

" _Hey Daryl man, something going down there." One of the guy he was friendliest with called as he took off in a run following the scattiest looking kids he'd ever seen  
He smelt the heavy smoke before he looked up at the flames in turmoil above his head it almost looked like a dragon breath of fire, untameable.  
Normally he woulda looked up in awe and exclaim with some of the guys but he felt his body go cold and rigid, like there was nothing in his chest no more.  
He took off in a run the bikes that had left were miles ahead of him, his breath sounded unhealthy it was making his chest sting and burn but at least he felt something.  
His brain was unhelpfully shouting scenarios at him, doomsday ones and he just wanted to bang his head against something and make it stop.  
Once he saw the crowd of halted figures turn like robots towards him faces distraught with sympathy eyes wide in shock, some kids actually sniggered like the little shits they were but parents held one gasping hand in front of their mouth before whispering to another parent.  
"That poor kid."  
Which was odd considering they were normally hauling their kids away from him like he had some disease, he'd hear them threatening them with his name later on.  
"His dads a drunk, mothers a mess, he's nothing but trouble. I don't wanna see you talking to him again!"  
He didn't wanna know. He wished he could just run back to the road never come back and live in blissful obliviousness but life never wanted that for him.  
"Is Merle here?" he asked one of the parents his voice barely carrying.  
"No sweetie. He's in lock up remember." She tried her dam best not to sound condescending which he was grateful for at the time.  
It couldn't be Pa in there. He hadn't seen him in days, if it was, he admitted he was glad to see that son of bitch rot in the flames, hell would eat him up but he felt too awful for it to be him.  
A police officer with a grim expression put one hand on his shoulder he shook if off quicker than he could talk and he went to open his mouth to give out but the shouts of the firefighters brought him back.  
"I'm really sorry son your mother she was in there. They think that…"  
He didn't hear nothing after that, his body went rigid his eyes glazed over he was placed into some sort of trance as the flames danced in front of him pulling his focus.  
Just as the flames diminished he realised he was being led away to where he didn't know but just as the crowd departed to let him through, he saw her.  
She ran at him with no shame or doubt moving to hug him but his eyes were glaring angrily at her and he couldn't stop them.  
Why the hell she get so fuckin lucky, she had a family and a big house, friends who actually admired her, he had nobody.  
"I'm so sorry." She cried squeezing his arm and he felt his body shake, he was really tired all of a sudden he just needed to sleep for a bit.  
"Daryl if you need anything. Call me. I'll come straight away, no matter what." She continued and he was frazzled by her concern.  
"I mean it, I'll be there."  
"Okay." He said weakly surprised he could talk at all, nodding slowly at her his feet tripping over themselves, hearing something about finding his Pa.  
"Please don't." he whispered and the police officers head jerked towards him, he pretended he said nothing wasn't worth the hassle.  
He looked back in wonder at Carol who was looking at his retreating figure sobbing into one cupped hand, she was hurting and he didn't know why.  
Ye had to go leave Mom couldn't of warned me._


	10. Chapter 10

**Enjoy, we'll be wrapping up this story soon :)**

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He stumbled into their "living quarters" half from pain, half from a blissful daze he was in, he was tryna hide the smirk that had been there the whole ride home but he guessed it ain't working too well, cause Shane was on him about the minute he sat down.  
"He smiles, thought your ugly mug was just stuck that way. You gonna tell me or am I gonna have to pull it out of ye?" he hit his arm playfully his smirk just as big as his own but the weight his hand landed on was some now fucked up part of his body.  
He hissed sending him a dirty look, holding up his hands in apology he silently mouthed an "I'm sorry," peoples sorrys didn't do shit. He still felt like a piece of crap.  
"Ye actually look worse for wear, so I'm guessing this has something to do with Carol." He pressed on, he really wished he carried a better poker face for this sort of thing.  
His whole body was aching with tiredness, he just wanted to sleep but he wouldn't be able to with Shane niggling at him all the time. "This what you and Rick do? Stay up late braiding each other's hair and gossiping like a bunch of teenagers."  
His head flopped uselessly against the skimpy pillow, one leg still firmly placed on the ground while the other stuck out at the end of the bed. This was the best he could do, he wasn't moving no more.  
"Want me to tuck you in?" teased Shane he shot him a look that silenced him which sent Shane into some sort of sulk, crossing his arms against his chest like a big kid, turning his head away from him.  
Was he serious? "You ain't sulking?!"  
"Man I'm bored out of my tree, haven't talked to anybody all day. All these other men are as dull as dishwater, wanna get out as much as anybody but we don't gotta be so down in the mouth about it. Now you come in and won't tell me a thing."  
Shane closed his eyes leaning against the wooden bed frame his annoyance still clear on his face and he had to laugh, his chuckle turned into some sort of snort, which made him "pry" open his eyes.  
"Next time we see Carol, we'll be when we get out. M'not allowed go back. So we best get moving on this, as soon as I can stand."  
He was more aggravated by this so he was officially giving up. "That's all your saying, you weren't happy cause you can't see her. Shit. I think I'm losing it here, we gotta get out man. Soon."  
"I know." He said shortly finally allowed sleep again.

Finally moving a little like himself Shane decided it was time to sit the men down and have a little chat with them, he didn't know what he could say to them but Shane'd been breathing down his neck. So here he was clammy hand and unsure with a thousand desperate men's eyes on him like he'd a clue what he was doing. "Tomorrow were getting out of here, I can't talk for you's but I am. I've got someone I have to get out of Negan's compound and I'm gonna do it no matter what, with or without your help…." He was cut off by Shane's constant tapping at his shoulder he growled at him knocking his hand away, "What?" he hissed.  
"Your tryna get this men to help you, you know that right?"  
"I'm getting to it, now shut the fuck up."  
"It'd be easier if I had your help but I ain't gonna force ye, you've been under Negan's thumb long enough and I ain't gonna lie were not all gonna make it but we'll rot here for sure if we stay. So it's up to you's what ye wanna do." Taking a deep breath he stepped back gesturing to Shane to step in front of him he loved talking he had to have something to say but he gave him a thumbs up which he rolled his eyes at.  
After an annoying amount of whispering, hushed talking and arguing voices chattering over each other one completely ordinary man stepped up. He was barely six foot, must've been about forty with dangling less than meaty bones but he spoke with conviction which surprised the hell out of him. "We all got people in there and if not in there, their at home and were certainly not gonna see them again by sitting on are asses. So we'll help, even if that means dying."  
They nodded in unison with him, Shane smirking broadly stepped up slapping his hands loudly and gruffly together. "Glad to hear it. Now who is ready to shove a gun so far in Negan's mouth it comes out his ass?"  
They dissolved into a chorus of grateful and nervous laughter all getting ready to try and sleep with fitful dreams of their loved ones which they may or not see again.  
He was gonna dream of Carol, no point denying it anymore. He was a stubborn ass so he'd fight his way out no matter what but now he had everything to fight for.  
He wasn't planning on losing.  
Just as he was tryna shut his eyes one arm draped lazily underneath his head, feeling more like himself his eyes were shot awake as he stared into the fuzzy ceiling that was hung with infinite darkness.  
"You awake?" whispered Shane roughly in not the most hushed whisper he'd ever heard.  
"If I wasn't I would be now." He grumbled back lightly.  
"Ye ready for tomorrow?"  
"Mhmm." He bit down on his lip tapping lightly on the side of hit with nervous hands, "You?"  
"I was born ready." He scoffed landing his head back harshly on the pillow causing the whole bed to rock back and forth shrieking all the way.  
Thank god none of the men had women in here. "You was also born with a brain and look how that turned out for ye."  
Shane sniggered disbelieving for a second, approving of his handiwork before snapping but it was hidden within a laugh, "Dixon ye little shit."  
"I ain't born yesterday, what?"  
They fell into a mutual comforting silence, both not acknowledging what they were too chicken to say out loud, that if they didn't make it. The other wasn't as bad as they thought they were.

 _She should've got out. She should've, she tried, god she really felt like she tried but she never thought he could hurt her. He could hurt her all she wanted and as bad as it sounded she really didn't care anymore, it was more out of habit than anything and if it helped keep a roof over her little girls head.  
Well, she'd stay there forever.  
She just never thought he would hurt her.  
The memory of that day would always be etched into the very core of her brain like wine stains you couldn't get out not unless you had the proper ingredients.  
It started out as any other day, Sophia went to school, her smiling her nervous, quiet smile as she ducked her head of bobbed blond hair, shuffling through the crowd of loud chattering kids.  
Like usual she stayed for a few minutes after the doors closed, the noise was brought to a halt as kids were reined in by stern shouts from every classroom all over the school.  
Peering around the empty parking lot, she felt herself holding back an on shed of tears smiling them away, feeling stupid she briskly wiped them off with the heel of her hand.  
She was being stupid, feeling sorry for herself, they always walked to school liking the chance of leaving early so they wouldn't have to face Ed, it was the one time of the day she enjoyed.  
She didn't know why he managed to pop back into her head again but she had thought of Daryl wondering maybe if she hadn't been just a little more pushy, maybe he could've liked her too.  
Maybe she would be living somewhere else in the world while he dug his head through cases coming home a tired, grumpy detective and it brought a sad smile to her face.  
He was always right about Ed, which made it worse, how could she face him?  
Walking past the bar they'd holed in before everyone had fled town looking for new adventures, where she'd last talked to Daryl where Ed hadn't been breathing down her neck.  
She remembered his nervous grimace and how the way his body seemed to shuffle around in un ease without him even knowing, while he asked if they were still friends.  
Saddest thing she ever heard, hearing that she was the only one that ever took notice of him, shows what a fucked up place this was.  
Where Daryl Dixon didn't even exist.  
_

 _When she collected Sophia she stopped getting them ice creams seeing Sophia's face light up was worth the beating she would soon get later.  
She waved over to Lori as she started unlocking the door, she was frowning, hands on her hip, displeased as usual. She had a husband that loved her and she treated him like he was nothing because she craved attention, always had.  
Her eyes widened, a fake wide smile and she waved hugely at them before turning now on the phone grumbling in distaste at somebody.  
Shane or Rick who knew.  
"She doesn't look happy." Whispered Sophia.  
"Does she ever?" She laughed boldly, Sophia gaped at her before dissolving in a fit of giggles the few moments of happiness before he came back late from drinking probably all day and night.  
Sophia was tucked away upstairs, hands over her ears, squeezing her eyes shut, even though seeing wasn't the problem. She always made sure she was safe.  
"Your back late. Fun night with the boys?" she smiled hugely at him trying to keep her tone light and breezy, show she wasn't upset but his eyes squinted as he scrutinised her, feeling fidgety under his stare.  
She grabbed the dinner shoving into the microwave with trembling hands, "Wait a few minutes and your dinner will be warmed up. Do you wanna go sit down? I'll pour you something." (Poison maybe)  
She was talking too much but for some reason she had a hole in the bottom of her stomach that was eating her up.  
"You tryna order me round?"  
"No." she answered quickly, "Of course not."  
"You got someone else here?" he took an angry step closer breathing heavily.  
"No Ed. When have I ever. I wou…"  
"You know me and the boys were talking," he paused coming short of breath, "about highschool."  
"Oh." Her voice was an octave higher than usual.  
"They were reminding me about you and that Dixon boy being real close. Reminding me to make sure you wasn't making a fool of me."  
Ed's friends always were a treat. The silence fell hollow around them, she had lost her voice feeling the wind get kicked out of her, he was fishing for anything.  
"No Ed I'm not making a fool of you. Daryl doesn't even live around here."  
"Where does he live?"  
"I don't know, why would I?" she prayed for the microwave to bing so his stale scotch breath wouldn't reach her nostrils and the beads of heavy sweat wouldn't drip onto her brow.  
"Don't have to be him. Anyone else ye fancy round here?"  
"No. Ed never. Please stop this."  
He laughed cruelly pulling out a cigarette sucking on it rapidly trying to reduce it to nothing as quick as he could.  
The microwave binged just as he was putting out a stub between his clammy hands and flicking onto one of the counters she'd have to clean.  
She grabbed the cutlery shoving the plate in front of her to distract him, some sort of barrier between them but all of a sudden all she could hear was the thudding of his angry boots._

 _Almost in a run he swung his arm out knocking the plate from her hands, hearing the smash woke her from her ignorance as pieces flew across the room like confetti, it was enough to make her knees wobble.  
"Ed please." She cried.  
"You sure like begging. Sure you ain't been practicing with someone else."  
There was no use he was a paranoid mess, he grabbed her two arms shaking her closer to him, fingertips leaving bruises on her already damaged skin.  
Sneering he brought her closer to him almost towards his lips and she tried not to shudder but he had to know she hated him. How could he not?  
He threw her away from him till she landed on the tiles, heading knocked off one of the handles of the cupboard, blood probably trickling somewhere.  
Dazed and confused she stumbled into the living room where he came in smashing things like a rhino, following her like a dog in heat.  
"Ed please." She might've said again she didn't know of her voice carried anything.  
He pushed her sending her head first into one of their old clocks that stood more as a decorative piece and she didn't feel the pain, she couldn't but she did hear.  
"Mum." Her voice quiet.  
"Sophia. Go upstairs." She snapped urgently pushing herself to shaky legs only to stumble back on all fours again, looking up weakly at her lip trembling, tears dribbling down her face.  
She was ashamed.  
Sophia came closer with a determined scowl she'd never seen before on her face teddy clutched in on hand, her safety blanket.  
"Leave mum alone. You can't do this." She ordered.  
He marched forward, she blindly climbed to her feet running, she was almost there but she was too late in a rage he threw her teddy across the room. No one knew where it landed the thud too soft for anyone to hear and he pushed her just with his fingertips but in his rage it was still much too hard.  
She yelped a wounded animal falling back hitting her head off the table it crashing underneath her and then she blacked out.  
She just remembered standing over Ed's dead body realising she released something in her hand letting it tumble to the ground and how quiet the room fell.  
No shallow breaths to be heard, not a sound anywhere, apart from her heaving angry huffs, the sobs that racked her whole body making her hurt in places she didn't know existed.  
She wanted to rush to Sophia but she knew, she knew she was gone and she didn't want to go over to her daughters still body.  
She was a coward, eventually she fell at her side, taking one of her small, dainty hands squeezing it to her chest. She wouldn't beg for someone to help, she'd been begging for years and no one heard, why would they now?  
In a trance like state she started moving out of the house power walking forward, tears dried on her cheek, she'd no idea where she was going.  
She just knew she needed to leave._

 _As Daryl drove as fast as he could without experiencing a sure death, his phone rang, Hershel he grabbed it answering it with an urgent bite to his voice.  
"What is it?"  
"Hello to you to, son."  
"Sorry, I'm…"  
"On your way to Carol Peletier's house, I know. I just wanted to warn you it's not pretty and if you do find her and it's not, what you expected. You gonna be okay?"  
He debated scoffing at him ignoring him but Hershel always had a way of pulling the truth out of him without even trying.  
"Gotta be. I'm the only one that can find her." Eyes blazing with determination he gripped the steering wheel tighter in the hand he was holding it in.  
"Alright. Just be careful."  
"Ain't I always."  
"No." he laughed hanging up and he pushed the car on faster._


End file.
